


Gravity

by Notsojollywood



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Slow Burn, angst angst angst, on a galactic scale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-02-19 00:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13112268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notsojollywood/pseuds/Notsojollywood
Summary: She tried for five years to push him out, to forget about the connection that they had. Five years, and Rey had all but moved on to find her place in the galaxy, at the heart of the Resistance. But, like gravity, he kept pulling her back in.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here it is! After seeing The Last Jedi, I just couldn’t help myself – I needed some more Reylo angst in my life. 
> 
> I’d like to take a moment and thank two awesome people who took the time to read this and take my choppy writing and make it something more presentable: ArmaVirosqueCano and shattered-quill. I really would have been lost without them.

_Beep. Beep._ A series of low chimes from somewhere in her sparse apartments on the _Stargazer_ alerted Rey to the fact that it was almost time. Her gut twisted violently at the thought and a dizzying fog clouded her head. How would she be able to get through the demands of the day? Rey sighed and she began to move with a greater sense of urgency; it was almost time.

Rey moved across the austere apartment, past the chrome tables with holopads strewn carelessly across it and her unmade bed, to the chrome wall at the opposite end of it. Mindlessly pressing her access code to silence the alarm, she ignored the mess. Over the course of the last few days, Rey neglected to tidy up her bedroom. Time, it seemed, was slipping away from her. _I’ll clean tomorrow,_ Rey promised herself as she took a seat in front of the black dressing table that had been set up for her.

Rey stared at her reflection in the looking glass warily, as if one wrong move would cause her carefully put together appearance to shatter to pieces. She did not know how much longer she could keep herself together.  Her skin was marred with scrapes and bruises from the Resistance’s last major run in with the First Order - a battle that she could still see every time she closed her eyes or succumbed to sleep.

If she was being perfectly honest with herself, Rey was _tired_ – tired of running, tired of planning, tired of fighting a battle that could never be won. She did not know how much longer she could go on like this. The circles that had formed around her eyes in the past five years had only deepened and darkened now, and barely noticeable lines had begun to show on her forehead whenever she was in deep thought.

Rey had only lived for twenty-five years, but she felt much older.

Five years had passed since she had last felt truly light and carefree, but five years ago, Rey’s world had been entirely different. She had begun her training to become a Jedi, to help the Resistance topple the First Order once and for all. But Luke Skywalker was gone now, and the Resistance needed to be built once more from the ground up. Even now, five years since the Resistance had been all but leveled, they still had a long way to go before they would be restored to its former strength. It seemed like no matter what she did or said, there was always one more mountain for her to climb.

Her hope for balance was beginning to fade.

Still staring in the mirror, Rey began to twist her long, brown hair into a neat plait. She had never truly paid attention to her hair before, opting only for simple hair styles that kept the annoying stray locks out of her face. But today was a different occasion entirely, one that called for much more pomp and circumstance. With a small movement, Rey wrapped the plait into a tight bun at the back of her head and secured it neatly in place looking almost regal. With another glance in the mirror, Rey appraised herself. But it was hard to recognize the woman in the glass; it did not look like her.

She shuddered, an uneasy chill washing over her.

“ _I don’t like your hair like that,”_ the voice came from the edge of the room, and Rey recognized it almost instantly. Her pulse quickened at the sound of the intruder’s voice, as it did every time it reached out to her. She had been getting better and better at blocking the voice entirely, but always managed to reach out when she was the most vulnerable. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as it spoke, but she quickly calmed herself down; she would not give the intruder the satisfaction of a response.

_“Where are you now? You know that I can only see you,”_ the voice implored her, as it had for the last few years. She could sense the desperation in its tone, the desire for an answer, anything from her. But Rey did not respond; she had not deigned to answer the voice in the last five years and she most certainly would not start today. _“Will you still not speak to me?”_

Instead of responding, she looked at herself more closely in the mirror. The dark charcoal of her tunic combined with the onyx wrap across her torso made her skin appear pasty and gaunt. The scars and bruises that painted her skin made her look ghastly and aged. Truly, it was not a flattering look at all for her. But now was not the time to overly concern herself with her appearance. She stood up, dusting off her clothing as she readied herself for the day’s events.

As if she would ever be ready for this.

“ _It’s true then, isn’t it?”_ The voice from the corner of the room called out. The desperation only intensified as it asked the loaded question, _“I felt it, you know. When it happened.”_

Rey closed her eyes and took a deep breath as the memories from that last vicious battle came flooding back to her. She had almost had her arm broken clean in two by an erratic Death Trooper, and had barely missed being shot at more times than she could count. The ambush that Rey should have been able to predict.  The physical pain of the battle had been horrible, and she had the scars to prove it. But when it was over and the dust had all settled, the anguish only intensified. She had felt it then, too – so potently. But even now, days later, the ache in her gut had not yet gone away, and Rey did not know if it ever would.

“ _For what it is worth, I’m sorry.”_ The words echoed throughout her empty apartments, causing Rey’s blood to run cold.

Rey had had enough; she did not want to hear any false platitudes - especially from _him_. Not today of all days. Closing her eyes, she focused all of her concentration on the mental barrier she worked so hard to build for herself. She imagined herself building a stone wall, putting each stone up piece by piece until she was entirely closed off from the intruder. Until she could no longer hear its voice, or feel that chilly presence that haunted her so. It was a trick she had taught herself in the last few months to keep herself from going mad.

When she opened her eyes again, she was alone in the sparse apartment. Rey exhaled in relief when she realized her solitude.

“Son of a bantha,” Rey mumbled under her breath. She had been so careful not to allow him into her head after all this time. How did he manage to reach out to her today of all days?

A distinct set of chirps broke her from her thoughts and alerted her to the fact that someone was at her door. Was it really time already?  With a deep breath, Rey walked over and pushed athe button to open the door. Poe Dameron stood before her in a stark black uniform, arms folded carefully behind his back. He looked every bit the soldier. He was fresh shaven and neat, but there was no betraying the melancholy in his eyes. He looked just as tired as she felt. Despite herself and the circumstances, Rey’s lips curled up into a halfhearted smile, “Good morning, General.”

His lips curled only slightly at the recognition of his most recent promotion, “Same to you, Lieutenant.”

Rey stepped to the side of the entryway, inviting Poe to enter her sparsely decorated apartments. Even after years spent on the cruiser, she had not felt the need or desire to make these assigned rooms her own. They had never truly felt like a home to her. But it had not bothered her, nor did it seem to perturb the man standing in front of her now. His eyes landed on her as he softly spoke, “I just wanted you to know that we’re currently in orbit. The delegation shuttle is going to be departing shortly. If you still wanted to be on it, that is.”

She knew that Poe was only giving her the option of backing out if she did not feel up to the strain of the day. But, nevertheless, Rey balked at the question. How could he think that she would miss this? Of course she needed to be there today. Her voice was stern as she responded, “Of course I do.”

Poe nodded, as if he had been expecting her answer. He regarded her carefully before speaking once more, “I have something for you.”

Rey’s brows furrowed in confusion as she watched Poe unfold his hands from behind his back. In the palm of his hand was a beautiful golden necklace. It took the shape of an upside down triangle with delicate interlacing curves that laced upwards. Rey quietly gasped, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. She recognized the royal sigil immediately, and the sight of it only tugged at her heartstrings. “The crest of Alderaan?”

Poe nodded, his heavy eyes meeting hers, “I think she would have wanted you to have it.”

“I don’t k– thank you,” Rey struggled to find the right words to convey how she felt. But Poe did not seem to mind as he stepped behind her and carefully placed the delicate crest and chain on her neck. He of all people would know just how much this meant to her.

She felt the warm touch of his fingers at the nape of her neck as he fastened the chain for her. His touch seemed to linger on her back, giving Rey goose prickles all along her skin. When he was satisfied that the crest was fastened securely, she could feel his sturdy palms find rest on her shoulder.

“Are you ready?” he asked softly, the sadness echoing through his voice. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as he posed the question, in what Rey could only assume was an attempt at reassurance and comfort.

_No, I am not._ The words slipped from the deepest crevices from her mind. But Rey could only nod in response to his question; she was not ready for what was about to come, but she would have to be.

Rey followed Poe wordlessly from her own apartments on the _Stargazer_ down to the shuttle bay. The air aboard the star cruiser was tense to say the least, and not a word was spoken between them as they made their way to the delegation shuttle. No one dared to speak to either officer in the corridors. Any petty officer, pilot, or mechanic kept their eyes downcast as Rey and Poe passed by; they all knew where the pair were headed.

The walk to the shuttle bay was quick, and before Rey could mentally prepare herself, they had arrived. A small crowd, donned in traditional mourning colors, surrounded the ship as they prepared to board. As they neared, she could easily see Rose hunched over with her face buried in her hands. Finn had an arm wrapped around her, bringing her close to his chest.

In any other circumstances, Rey would have greeted her friends gladly. But as she saw the gray apparel and the sorrow etched on their faces, she found all will to make small talk dissipate instantly.

Without a word to her compatriots, Rey boarded the delegation shuttle, taking a seat at the far edge of a cabin. The cold corner of the wall was a comfort to her, and she leaned on it for support. Poe Dameron took the seat opposite her. He offered her a small smile but Rey did not have it in her to return it. Not when the weight of this morning hung darkly over her head.

The rest of the delegation filed silently into the shuttle. The only thing that could be heard amongst the mourners was the clicking of safety fasteners and the gentle hum of the engine as they prepared to disembark from the _Stargazer._

The eerie silence only continued as the shuttle began to approach the large planet below. Rey looked over the world as it came closer and closer into her field of vision. Large spans of greenery covered the planet for miles, with intermittent specks of the bluest water Rey had ever seen in her short life. The planet below her was absolutely beautiful —– there was no doubting it —- but it would be forever ruined for her after this evening.

“Why Naboo?” Finn asked as the shuttle made its descent to the planet below, breaking the uncomfortable tension that had taken hold of the delegation. His words, although spoken softly, seemed to cut through the strained air like the strongest of knives. “I thought the General was from Alderaan.”

Members of the delegation looked at each other quizzically; none of them seemed to have the answer. Rey looked up when no one else spoke.

“It was her mother’s birthplace,” Rey’s words barely came out as a whisper. The rest of the delegation looked up at her in surprise. “She had told me once, a few years, ago that this had been the place where her own mother had ruled as a Queen, and then served in the Republic as a senator. She had always wanted to see the place where her mother came from.”

Rey recalled that evening perfectly, once more stewing in anger over the fact that she would never truly know her parents. She had complained how unfair it all was —her lack of roots and unclear purpose. And Leia — _wise Leia_ — had sat Rey down and told her own story. That she too had never known her birth parents, that she had been robbed of the chance to know her true path, and the grief that it had caused her.

_Your purpose has a way of finding you, Rey._ Leia’s words echoed in her mind, clear even to that very day, _whether you know it or not._

Rey’s heart welled at the memory of Leia, and she felt the buildup of tears behind her eyelids. She inhaled deeply, hoping to stop the inevitable rush of sorrow that would come pouring out of her at any moment. _Be strong, Rey,_ she commanded herself.

“She was a wonderful woman.” Poe sighed, blessedly taking the heat off of Rey. All eyes moved from her to the newly promoted general. “A force of nature.”

“That she was,” Finn nodded, and the rest of the delegation murmured their assent. But after a few more moments, the quiet unease settled over the shuttle once more and left Rey alone with her own thoughts.

* * *

 

The roaring waterfalls and breathtaking lakes of Naboo glistened in the moonlight, half-convincing Rey that the planet was actually made of diamonds. The air had a cool, light breeze about it that seemed to gently kiss her skin whenever it picked up. In her last few years traipsing along the galaxy with the Resistance, Rey had never come across a planet as alluring as this. In any other circumstances, Rey would have been in complete awe of her surroundings. But now, as she stood at the head of the funeral procession, Rey could only feel a hollow resentment at the beauty of the planet.

It seemed to mercilessly mock her pain.

As the casket carrying the great General Organa began to move slowly along the procession route, the Resistance leaders followed closely behind. Rey was locked in step with Finn and Poe at either side of her as the somber funeral procession made its way along the brilliant beaches at the lake retreat of Varykino. The Naboo people had lined the streets along the procession route, silently mourning along with those that knew the general best. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear a deep mourning song being sung in her honor. Naboo was a truly a marvelous place, and so peaceful.

Perhaps, Rey thought, she should be thankful that the general was finally at peace.

The Naboo, upon hearing that the General would be laid to rest on their planet, had set up an ornately decorated pyre on the shore of one the great lakes in the countryside. It had been the family retreat of one of the greatest houses during the golden age of the planet, and Leia would find her final resting place there. The delicate dark wood of the pyre was wrapped elegantly into different plaits, interlocking and weaving around one another. It was truly fit for a princess. But despite the fine detail, Rey could not help but shudder at the sight of the funeral pyre.

The procession wrapped itself around the pyre, and Rey watched on helplessly as the pallbearers carefully placed the casket on to the wood. Something stirred deep inside her then, and the same chill that she had felt earlier that morning was back once more. _No,_ she thought to herself. She closed her eyes in a silent prayer, _not now._

But there was no use fighting it this time. Especially not when she was in such a vulnerable and exposed state.

“ _I could feel your grief across the galaxy,”_ he said, and the chills along her spine only intensified. She could feel his phantom breath along the nape of her neck. Rey went rigid at his words, the intimacy of them. No one else was able to see him — the source of her discomfort — standing so close to the pyre. “ _Are you there now — saying goodbye?”_

Rey inhaled sharply, trying to keep the shivers that radiated through her from making her visibly shake. At her sides, she clenched her fists in an attempt to steady herself. But it was no use; her nails dug deep into her palms and her knuckles turned to a pale white. She bit her bottom lip, chewing on it viciously. Perhaps the pain would help her to concentrate on something — anything but him.

Poe Dameron broke free from her side at that moment, stepping to the head of the funeral pyre. She concentrated on him, the way he glowed warmly in the light from the embers. General Organa lay before him on the pyre. With a cough, he began to speak, “Friends — members of the Resistance — we are gathered here today to honor one of our own. General Leia Organa was more than just a princess or a military leader.”

Rey let out a long exhale; she had been glad when Poe Dameron had offered to be the one to speak today. She was even more grateful for it now; she could still feel Ben’s presence studying her from wherever he was across the galaxy.

_“I’m not here to antagonize you, Rey.”_ Ben’s voice whispered to her, breaking her concentration on the ceremony; she could feel him standing so close to her. It took every ounce of control in her body not to rip violently away from her spot at the front of the mourners; she did not want to draw any attention to herself during the solemn affair. “ _I’m here because I needed to be.”_

Rey stiffened at Ben’s words as the realization dawned on her — it was his own mother’s funeral after all.

“General Organa was the stuff that rebellions are built on,” Poe continued, looking at the crowd, “She was the wisdom that guided the Rebellion to victory against the Empire. She was the hope that lit the way through the Resistance’s darkest hour. She was a hero, and not just because she died in battle. But because of who she was to each of us — what she still means to us.”

Although she knew he could not see or hear anything that was going on around her, Rey had to wonder if Ben Solo knew what people were saying about his mother.

_“I also wanted to say goodbye to her.”_ Rey’s jaw clenched at his words.

“It’s up to us now, to make sure that General Organa did not die in vain.” Poe continued, looking out to each member of the congregation that had gathered to honor the fallen war hero, “Leia was the spark of hope in the Resistance. It’s up to us to keep the flame that she lit for us.”

With his final words, Poe lifted up the first of the torches and brought it to the edge of the pyre. Within moments, the flame ignited and began to engulf the entire ornate set up. Rey’s eyes followed the dancing flames as the warm air from the fire kissed her face. At the same time, she could feel a chill envelop her; Ben was once again reaching out to her. But now, despite how much she wanted to, she could not pull away. Rey stood still, keeping her gaze locked on the pyre.

Rey did not know how long she stood there with Ben Solo’s cool presence next to her. But she did not let her face betray any emotion then; she showed him neither her discomfort nor her grief. She remained stoic, as still as a statue, as the galaxy around her mourned Leia Organa.

At some point, Poe Dameron made his way back to Rey’s side. She had not quite forgotten the presence of Ben Solo, mourning his own mother from across the far reaches of the galaxy. She had chosen only to ignore him the best that she possibly could. But it was not until she felt Poe’s warm touch on her skin that she even noticed that her hands were still clenched tightly into fists.

Rey released her tight grip as Poe reached down to grab her hand in his, “Are you okay?”

Rey swallowed as she steadied her shaking hand that was caught between Poe’s grasp. She nodded once — perhaps if she believed it enough, it would become reality. She gave him a halfhearted smile as she pulled her hand away and gave him a slight shake of her head. “Not here,” she whispered, so that only he could hear, “Just not —not now.”

Poe dropped his own hands, masking the hurt that etched across his features well. But he took a look around at the mourners still standing around the fire, all of whom had solemn looks on their faces. This was not the place for such small comforts. He cleared his throat, “No — you’re right. It’s not the place.”

She smiled warmly at him, giving his arm a tender brush with her hand, before turning back to the memorial.

* * *

 

“To General Organa,” Finn called out, raising the glass of Corellian whiskey high above the crowd of people who had gathered around him. Next to him, a small flask of the whiskey had been poured out in honor of the dead, “And may the Force be with her always.”

There was a roar of assent as the mourners all lifted their glasses in a toast to the fiery general. Rey quietly followed suit, lifting her own glass of whiskey at the toast and bringing it to her lips. Having never been one to truly appreciate a good drink, the burn at the back of her throat caused Rey’s face to contort in displeasure. But the drink was strong, and after only a few brief moments, Rey could feel a quiet warmth spread throughout the rest of her body.

Rey scanned the crowd of delegates from all over the galaxy who had come to mourn the princess. The tone of this gathering in honor of her had a much more lively tone, and happy memories of the General were being shared all around. Despite the quiet levity of the occasion, Rey herself did not feel all that light. She couldn’t quite place the cause of it, but something about the evening weighed heavily on her.

“I can’t believe she’s really gone,” Rey heard a meek voice from behind her. Turning, she saw a bruised and scarred Rose standing before her, empty whiskey glass in hand. Pity welled up inside Rey at the sight of the young officer; Rose had seen the most action in the battle that had killed Leia. Out of all of them, she looked the worst for the wear.

Rey regarded the young woman before her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, “Me neither. There was always a part of me that believed that no matter what happened, she was invincible.”

“I just keep thinking,” Rose continued, her voice getting higher and higher as she fought back even more tears, “we should have been able to do something. If only we had known what was coming, we could have evacuated in time.”

Rey gave Rose’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze; she had thought the same thing many times since the last battle. To the young woman, Rey repeated the mantra that Poe had said over and over again in an attempt to comfort her, “‘We were ambushed, Ro’. There was nothing that we could have done.”

“I know — you’re absolutely right,” Rose sighed as she ran a hand through her dark hair, “we’d just been doing so well lately at predicting whatever that bastard Kylo Ren has been planning. It’s just hard to think we weren’t able to predict he’d order that attack on us.”

Rey bristled, dropping her hand from Rose’s shoulder and she fixated her gaze on the empty drinking glass in her hand.  It was true, thanks to the unwelcome bond that she shared with the First Order’s supreme leader, that Rey had become very skilled at predicting their enemy’s next moves. But, having closed herself off to communication with Ben, she found it was becoming more and more of struggle to accurately anticipate the First Order’s actions. Could she have prevented all of this?

Rey eyed the empty glass in her hand, suddenly wishing that she had more of the whiskey.

“You’re right,” Rey croaked; her mouth had suddenly gone bone dry at her spiraling thoughts. “Perhaps we should have known.”  

Rose, although young, was seemingly perceptive to Rey’s sudden change in mood and politely excused herself from the conversation. Although she liked the young officer, Rey couldn’t help but feel grateful that she had left. She needed to be alone with her own thoughts at the moment, and so, found a seat in the corner of the Naboo hall, resting her now aching head in her palm. Her other hand fell to the crest of Alderaan, and she began to toy with chain around her neck. Suddenly, the crest seemed heavier than it had before.

_“You look like you’ve been through hell.”_ A cool voice interrupted her peace.

“Like you would know,” Rey found herself mumbling in response, her wits momentarily lapsing as she remembered just exactly _who_ she was speaking to. In her grief, she had let her guard down and done something she vowed she would never do again. _Great kriffing job, s_ he cursed herself for being so stupid.

_“Perhaps I don’t know._ ” Ben Solo said, and she could see his figure out of the corner of her eye. She refused to look at his gaze, instead vowing to keep her head in her hand. She had not gotten a real look at him in five years, and she was not about to start right now. _“But what I do know is that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening. It wasn’t your fault.”_

Rey inwardly cursed his ability to seamlessly perceive her every thought. How could she let him read her so easily? Her anger at her own shortcoming caused her to lash out, “No — you’re right. It’s _your_ fault.”

Ben paused, taking a deep breath before he replied, “ _I did not know she was there when I ordered the attack.”_

“What a load of tauntaun shit,” Rey replied, her head still in her hand.

_“You know it’s true,.”_ he replied, and she could feel his presence take a step closer to where she sat. _“Search your feelings.”_

Rey thought about his condolences earlier that morning, and his attempts at being — if only somewhat — a part of the procession. She couldn’t deny that Ben truly mourned with her in those moments. But almost as quickly as she had reasoned that, Rey also decided that it did not matter. She scoffed at him, “Even if it was true — you’re still the one responsible, Ben. It’s not about your intentions, it’s about what you did.”

“ _I-”_

“I don’t want to hear it, Ben.” She interrupted before he could confuse her even more than he already had, “I want you to go.”

Ben Solo did not say another word; Rey shut her eyes in an attempt to drown out the rest of the Naboo hall away. And when she opened them again, Ben Solo was no longer there.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I cannot believe the response that the first chapter got. You guys all are amazing! And I really want to thank everyone for all of the constructive feedback that you have given, especially given the subject and tone of the previous chapter. I really wanted to be sensitive to the subject, and do it right.
> 
> Anyway, some of you thought that this was supposed to be a one-shot, but I can promise that’s not the case. We’ve got plenty more chapters to go here, so buckle up – it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

“Rey?” A voice called out, breaking the last of the Jedi from her train of thought. Rey looked up from the series of holo-maps and freighter schematics spread out in front of her and met Finn’s gaze for the first time that morning. The lieutenant leaned over the table and peered curiously at her and her work. Rey wondered just how long he had been standing there as he tried to get her attention, and she blushed at her own absentmindedness. “Did you even hear what I said?”

Rey sighed; she was so engrossed with the plans in front of her that she wasn’t paying attention at all to her surroundings. She chewed her bottom lip before apologizing to her friend, “Sorry about that. I’m just trying to get this freighter course mapped out so that the interception and boarding goes-”

“The interception of the Bespin freighter will go just fine,” Finn reassured her, putting both of his hands square on her shoulders. But the furrow of his brow told Rey everything that it needed to: her friend was worried about her. “You’ve looked over those same maps for days now. The plans aren’t changing that much, Rey.”

Slowly, in the weeks following Leia Organa’s death and funeral, life with the newly reborn Rebellion once again resumed a steady, albeit awkward, rhythm. As soon as the funeral delegation returned to the _Stargazer_ from Naboo, it seemed as though Rey had no time to dwell on her own grief. She plunged into project after project, refusing to deal with her own wretched sense of guilt that developed during the funeral. And she was lucky —there were more plans to be made than ever before and Rey’s new status as lieutenant let her have the pick of them.

And she was determined not to slip up and cause anymore catastrophic mishaps again.

Rey turned from Finn and scanned the map once more, “The First Order is increasing their monthly shipments of prothium by two hundred and fifty percent. If we allow them to receive that shipment from Bespin, they’ll have enough prothium for ammunition to subdue entire planets. We can’t let that happen.”

“I’m aware, Rey,” her friend sighed, “you seem to be forgetting who it was that recovered that particular bit of intel.”

Her cheeks grew hot at the rebuke from her friend. Of course her friends were working just as hard as she was. But she did not back down, and raked her eyes over the flight path once more. But, Finn was right. Spending hours staring at the plans would be of no use to her. By now, she had the schematics committed to memory.

“I think you need to go and get some rest,” Finn continued, once again entering Rey’s line of vision. He had put a hand on top of the hologram, distorting its image until it emerged unreadable. He was becoming impossible for her to ignore, and if Rey knew her friend at all, then Finn was doing it on purpose. “You’re wearing yourself too thin. You have been for the last few weeks.”

Rey scoffed, unable to prevent herself from rolling her eyes at her friend’s concern. But before she could muster a witty retort, Finn continued, “I’m serious, Rey. Go and get some rest.”

She looked up at Finn defiantly but her friend squared his shoulders and stood tall above her, “Go and rest up —that’s an order.”

Rey raised her eyebrows at his tone, “Are you pulling rank now, _First Lieutenant_?”

The emphasis on his new promotion was not lost on Finn; for a while, it had been a sour point in their friendship that he outranked her. Finn dropped his gaze but his tone remained strong, “I will if I have to, Rey. You’re going to work yourself into the ground, and then you won’t be of any use to us at all.”

Rey had a million different counterpoints that were running through her head, and she opened her mouth to start arguing every single one of him. But the look that she received from Finn was enough to quiet her, and she sighed in defeat; it would hurt morale of the already fragile Resistance if the two lieutenants were to argue so publicly on the bridge of the lead cruiser. Swallowing her pride, Rey nodded and silently deactivated the glowing holopad. She gently tucked it under her arm before bidding a reluctant farewell to Finn.

But as Rey walked from the bridge to her own apartments, she found that she was not at all tired. In fact, the last thing that she wanted to do was wallow alone in her empty apartments. No, Rey wanted to be productive. Her hand fell to the weapon that never left her side. It had felt like ages that she got to practice with her newly constructed saber —and she _missed it_. Having crafted the new weapon from the kyber crystals she salvaged from Luke’s blade, it had a high sentimental value for her.

And it had been too long.

Deftly, Rey changed course in the halls of the _Stargazer_ and marched towards the newly repurposed training bay. It had been one of Poe’s idea a little less than a year ago to repurpose an unused cargo hold into a simulation chamber. It was important, he argued, that everyone keep up their stamina and prepare for every possible scenario. But with her new responsibilities as an officer, she had less time to physically train than she would have liked. This would be the perfect distraction for her.

But as she walked to the training bay, Rey realized that she was not alone. Although he was wearing a protective helmet, she recognized none other than Poe Dameron as he moved nimbly through the fight simulator, avoiding every stun blaster that the training droid fired at him. Rey stood at the entryway, watching him move as he climbed over the set obstacles and used each cover to his distinct advantage. She had to admit, she was impressed.

Having recognized the course of the simulation, Rey waited until he was at the last leg of the program before she spoke, “You’re treading a little too heavily on your left foot,”

Poe turned and looked in her direction, startled at the intrusion. But as he opened his mouth to speak, the simulation droid fired one last blaster shot towards him. The blue light hit him square in the back, causing the newly appointed general to shake slightly.

“ _You lose,”_ the droid’s words echoed throughout the training bay, and Rey let out a loud chuckle.

“Ow,” he groaned, rubbing the spot where the droid had hit him. “If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you did that on purpose. And it _hurt._ ”

Rey rolled her eyes at his whining, but she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face in that moment. A small giggle escaped her throat as she said, “The simulation blasters barely even tickle when they hit you. Stop being such a baby.”

“Ouch,” Poe walked over to the training droid, and took the mock blaster from its metal hand. He casually pointed it in Rey’s direction, “That hurt more than the blaster did, Rey. But if you’re so tough, let’s see what you can do.”

Rey’s brow lifted, and she smiled at the challenge. Without another word, she retrieved the weapon at her side and ignited it, and a brilliant blue light erupted from both ends of the saber. She twirled the saberstaff deftly in her left hand and charged at Poe. To his credit, the skilled fighter across from her fired the training blaster as soon as the saber ignited. But Rey was too quick for him. With a single move, she brought the saber down across her body and deflected the shot. Poe raised his eyebrows, impressed with her quickness.

But he did not hesitate for long. When Rey moved the staff again, Poe was quick to dodge her parry. Ducking behind a wall for cover, Poe began to fire the blaster rapidly in Rey’s general direction. Rey swiftly twirled the saberstaff, blocking each of the shots in rapid succession. With every new move that Poe attempted, Rey was able to match and deflect with ease.

Eventually, Poe’s shots began to slow as the training blaster’s power reserves depleted. When the last of the shots was fired, Rey extinguished her own weapon and returned it to the holster at her side. Her breath was heavy after the exercise, and she wiped at a small bead of sweat that had formed on her brow.

Poe emerged from his corner, casually tossing the blaster to the ground. The training droid, reanimated after the session, scrambled to pick up the weapon and put it back in its charging port. “One day,” the pilot mused, “I am going to get the better of you in battle.”

She pursed his lips, trying to hide the smile that threatened to emerge, “We’ll have to see about that.”

Poe lifted his shoulders in a shrug, and walked over to where Rey stood. Reaching out to her, he tucked a stray hair that had come loose in their simulation behind her ear. “I’m surprised to see you here. You’ve been so buried in your work lately.”

“I’ve been _ordered_ to take leave,” Rey could not help her eyes rolling up to her forehead. She crossed her arms like a petulant child that had been scolded by its mother. “Finn pulled rank and told me to get some rest.”

Poe, however, did not seem as indignant at the story as Rey hoped that he would be. Shrugging his shoulders once more, he continued, “It’s for the best, Rey. You’ve been working yourself too hard; if you’re going to effectively lead the interception team, you need to have a clear head. Take a break —it’s not going to kill you to relax a little bit.”

Rey sighed, she should have known better than to expect Poe to take her side over his second in command. She opened her mouth to say something, but Poe’s eyes darted behind her to the holo-clock on the wall, “Ah kriff — I have a meeting in a few minutes with the admiral on the _Liberty._ I have to run if I am going to make it on time.”

Rey watched as Poe grabbed his belongings from the corner of the room and began to rush out. But before she was left completely alone, the new general turned back to her, “So,since you’re on mandated leave for the rest of the day, what do you say I bring us dinner from the mess tonight? I’ll bring it over to your chambers.”

Rey found herself nodding at the offer without hesitation; it had been weeks since she had a nice and relaxed meal. At her acceptance, Poe smiled and brought his lips down to gently brush her cheek. It was brief, but a rush of heat rose up in her cheeks. After bidding her another quick farewell, Poe slung his belongings over his shoulder and ran out of the training area. Rey glanced around; she was entirely alone in the blessedly silent room.

Sitting quietly in the center of the training room, Rey decided to use its vacancy to her full advantage. Despite its position at the center of the ship, the grounds were much more light and welcoming than her own chrome apartments. It was the perfect spot for meditation. As much as she hated to admit it, Finn and Poe were both right —Rey was overworked and on edge. She had been since she returned from Naboo. She hoped that the mind exercise would help to set her at ease.

Slowing her breathing, Rey began to count backwards from ten. With each decreasing number, Rey found herself drifting further and further away from her present state and into something much deeper. All of the ambient sounds of the cruiser faded into complete silence. She could feel the Force simultaneously enveloping her and pouring out through her, and for the first time in weeks, Rey felt balanced.

Rey felt _clarity._

Despite them being physically gone, Rey felt connected to everyone she had lost these last few years. She could feel the presence of Han, of Luke, and of Leia – all at one with the Force, all at peace. Even in her meditative state, Rey’s lip curled upward into the smallest of smiles. She reached even further into the Force, hoping for even more reassurance and closure.

But as she probed deeper, Rey’s vision began to tunnel and all else around her disappeared – save for the smallest of lights at the far end of her field of view. She could feel herself being pulled toward it, and her feet began to move of their own their own accord into its direction. She couldn’t help herself as she stepped towards it. As she moved closer, she could just barely make out the source of the light – a glowing orb that hovered just far enough out of reach. Rey was drawn to it, and she was filled with an inexplicable need to know just what she was looking at. But with every deliberate step she took towards it, the light seemed to move further and further back from her. Her breath quickened, and she took another anxious step towards the light source.

But it only seemed to move further back.

She could not say how long the desperate dance continued: Rey moving closer and the object pulling itself just barely out of reach. But finally, after what seemed like an unyielding struggle, Rey stood in front of the light. It was tiny, and up close seemed to pulse like the faintest of heartbeats. Curiosity getting the better of her, Rey reached a hand out to the light.

As her fingertips gently brushed it, Rey could feel herself being pulled violently from her vision and a rush of wind sucked the last breath right out of her. As she gasped for air, Rey opened her eyes. She was back, safe, at her meditation spot in the middle of the training room on the _Stargazer._ But immediately, she could sense that she was no longer alone.

Ben Solo stood not five feet in front of her, watching her chest rise and fall as she struggled for air. She could feel his eyes on her as she attempted to calm herself down, and she felt another rush of heat rise in her cheeks. How long had he been watching her meditate? When she finally managed to gain control of her breathing, Ben took a step closer to her, _“What did you see?”_

Rey shook her head; she was not going to do this now. She had only seen Ben a few times in the weeks following their brief conversation on Naboo and each time she made a point to ignore him. Slowly standing, she walked towards a makeshift water station that had been set up at the far end of the training bay.

 _“Rey,”_ She heard Ben’s voice call her from across the room, and for the briefest of moments she could feel a small involuntary pull towards him. It was a weak pull, and if it had lasted any longer Rey knew she would have been able to resist it easily. But the brief feeling was enough to make her stop dead in her tracks. She recognized the feeling of the Force pulling her towards him, and she turned on her heel to look at him.

Her lips curled into a snarl as she hissed, “How _the hell_ did you do that?”

Ben stood still before her, his arm still outstretched. But the look of shock on his face revealed that he was just as surprised by the result as she was. He tried using the Force through their strange connection before, when it had first been formed. But his powers hadn’t work then, and Rey always assumed that it would never work. Lowering his hand, Ben frowned, “I – I don’t know. I just needed you to talk to me.”

“If you wanted to talk, Ben,” Rey did not try to hide the bite in her words, “You should have come with me all those years ago.”

 _“You know I couldn’t do that.”_ A nervous chill radiated through Rey’s spine as she sensed the conviction in his words; it frightened her how much he believed in his misguided cause.

 _This is the new Supreme Leader of the First Order_ , she reminded herself. He was the leader of the organization that she was so desperately fighting to bring down, and that certainly did complicate things. She told herself that she had given up on Ben Solo after leaving him in Snoke’s throne room.

But she saw the conflicted expression etched on his features and softened. Even now – after all these years – she could sense the uncertainty in him. Rey looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time in years and could not help the small rise of hope in her voice, “That’s not true. You still could.”

The sad smile that lit his face in response told Rey that he did not quite believe her.

Rey sighed, closing her eyes. What could she do or say to convince him that his place was with the Light? Taking a deep breath, she readied herself to plead once more with Ben to do the right thing. But when she opened her eyes, she was alone once more in the training room.

Ben Solo was gone.

* * *

 

Rey lay atop the perfectly made bed in her apartments and stared up at the ceiling. She attempted to take Finn’s advice and rest during her mandated leave, and – after her conversation with Ben – she felt absolutely exhausted. After reasoning that she did have some time before Poe was set to meet her, she decided that rest would be the best thing for her. But when she finally laid down, that desired respite eluded her.

Simply too much had happened the last few weeks for her to feel truly restful.

She closed her eyes, willing sleep to finally come. But before she could steady her breathing, the familiar series of chirps that signaled a visitor at her door sounded. Rey blinked and picked herself up from the position on her bed. Slowly, she crossed her newly cleaned quarters and peered into the viewing screen. On the other side of the door, she could see Rose fidgeting nervously as she waited to be let in.

Rey tapped in her access code and the doors swung open. Rose did not even wait for an invitation before she entered through the doors and into Rey’s apartment. Wringing her hands, she began to pace back and forth in front of Rey. Rey, for her part, could sense the anxiety radiating from the poor captain, but she couldn’t place the cause of it.

She stood watching the scene before her, waiting for Rose to explain herself.  It wasn’t long before Rose turned to Rey, “I need advice.”

Rey raised her brows, signaling to her friend to continue with her story. Rose took a seat at the small table, which had already been set and neatly prepared for whatever dinner Poe was bringing over from the mess. The captain looked at the place setting and her face crumpled, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had plans. I’ll go.”

Rey raised her hands, and attempted to calm the young woman down. She sat down across from Rose and extended her hand towards hers, “It’s alright, Rose. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s just –“ Rose paused as she struggled to find the right words, “It’s just – things with Finn. It seems like ever since he got that stupid promotion – he’s just never around anymore.”

Rey opened her mouth to speak, to offer some words of comfort, but Rose continued, “I know what you’re going to say: he’s busy, and there’s a lot of work to be done. I understand all that - the Rebellion is always going to come first.”

Rose paused to take a deep breath, “I just also can’t shake the feeling that he’s using all of that as an excuse as to why I never see him anymore.”

“Finn has a lot on his mind – he has ever since he was made into First Lieutenant. He wants to live up to what Leia saw in him.” And it was true, Rey could see the same stress in Finn that she herself felt. Their previous interaction on the bridge that very afternoon all but proved it. Rey inhaled before continuing, “I think you need to speak with him about it.”

“We’re all under that stress though,” Rose countered, clenching her hands into fists. She motioned to the place settings on the table in front of them, “Poe got promoted too, and he doesn’t seem to be too busy.”

Rey startled at the implication Rose was making. Her mouth dropped slightly, and she tried to think of something to say in response to her friend’s remark. Rose seemed to sense Rey’s incredulity, but she only scoffed, “You really don’t think we’ve all figured that one out by now? Finn knew about the two of you for at least a year.”

Rey hesitated and her cheeks began to turn a bright shade of pink. When she and Poe began their _–_ she hesitated to call it a relationship – arrangement a little more than a year ago, Rey had insisted that they both be a discreet as possible After all, as Rose had said, the Rebellion would always come first. She was not going to jeopardize it by adding any further complications into the mix. But Poe had always been a steady friend to her, and their rapport seemed to progress naturally into something more.

But she would have to let him know that they were less discreet than they had apparently thought.

Rey looked at Rose - it was not worth it to Rey to keep up the pretense anymore. She struggled to find the best advice for her friend, “Poe and I – we talk to each other. If you feel worried at all, I think you need to bring it up with Finn.”

Rose nodded as if that had been the answer that she was expecting. She slid her chair back to stand up just as the door chirped once more; Poe arrived early. Rose looked over to the door and gave a small smile, “I think that’s my cue to leave. Thank you for listening, Rey.”

Rey put a gentle hand on Rose’s shoulder as she walked the young woman to the door. Rose turned and wrapped her arms into a warm hug. Surprised, Rey returned the gesture before looking the girl square in the eye, “Things will all work out, you’ll see. You have nothing to worry about.”

Using her personal access code once more, Rey punched in the numbers and the door opened. As she expected, Poe stood waiting with a cart overflowing with all different kinds of food from the mess. He raised his eyebrows as Rose walked out of the apartment and through the door, but he did not appear at all worried about her seeing him there. Rey had to wonder if Poe was at ease with other members of the Rebellion knowing about the two of them.

She watched as Poe and Rose exchanged quick pleasantries before the young captain bid her final farewell. When Rose was halfway down the corridor, Poe wheeled the cart full of food into her room. As she was coding in the door-locking sequence, she could feel Poe’s lips brush her cheek. Almost immediately, Rey felt the tension she had been carrying all day just disappear.

Perhaps Finn was right - maybe she just needed to relax.

* * *

 

“I have to propose a toast,” Poe smiled from across the table as he raised his glass of emerald wine.  “Here is to mandated breaks, no matter how undesirable they may be.”

A chime of laughter escaped Rey’s throat – perhaps she had _too_ much of the green liquid that evening – and she raised her glass as well, “I have to say - being forced on a temporary leave did not turn out to be all that bad.”

Rey was surprised by the truth of her own words; she had resented being forced off of the bridge earlier in the day. But now, as the light on the ship began to dim in anticipation of evening hours, she was feeling much lighter than she had in weeks. She brought the wine glass to her lips and finished off the remaining liquid in her cup. Her half eaten meal of Hillindor fowl soup, lemus corn, and a variety of greens that she could not possibly name lay before her – she could not have eaten any more. Perhaps it was the wine, or the food, or something else entirely, but Rey was filled with a warmth that radiated through her entire body.

“So,” Poe continued as he set his glass down in front of him, “What was Rose doing here?”

Rey sighed before explaining the anxious state in which Rose appeared at her door, but she did not disclose the topic of the ensuing conversation. While she trusted Poe not to say anything to Finn, he was not going to share the details of her friend’s life to anyone else. To his credit, Poe did not seem to push for any additional information. Instead, he began to lament about his own day; the meetings with the other admiral on the _Liberty_ had not gone very well.

It was then, when Poe was recounting the few choice word he had with the admiral, that Rey felt the familiar chill at the back of her spine. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself for what was to come; the connection between her and Ben Solo had the worst possible timing.

He appeared just behind Poe, who was continuing to talk about his meeting on the _Liberty._ Rey froze, uncertainty welling up in her like a storm at sea. While their bond often bridged the two of them when she was with others in public, it had never occurred when she was in a smaller intimate setting with another person.

Rey sat there, attempting to feign interest in Poe’s story, as Ben regarded her. He hadn’t said anything to her yet, but Rey was already on edge.

“ _Something’s troubling you,”_ He spoke finally, and it did not surprise Rey that he could sense her anxiety. But she couldn’t respond to him - couldn’t tell him to just go away – without alerting Poe to the fact that she was seeing someone across the galaxy. Rey bristled at the thought of having to explain exactly _who_ she was speaking to as well. “ _What? Loth-cat got your tongue?”_

Without thinking, Rey looked past Poe and to Ben. But when she did not respond, something changed in his expression. His face seemed to fall slightly as he theorized exactly why she was not giving him any kind of an answer. Rey watched as comprehension flooded his features and he stumbled back slightly. _“Yo– you aren’t alone.”_

Rey startled as she sensed an overwhelming sense of disappointment wash over their connection.

“Rey?” Poe called, breaking her train of thought. She darted her eyes from Ben to Poe and she felt a rush of color to her cheeks. She had not realized she was being so obvious in her distraction. “Are you alright?”

Rey nodded, feeling her cheeks grow hotter than they were already. From behind Poe, she could see Ben staring intently at her, his lips pursed into a thin line. What was he thinking? It surprised Rey as she realized how badly she wanted to know what he was thinking. “I’m sorry – I just got distracted.”

Poe looked to where Rey had been staring, as if trying to figure out the source of her diversion, but he could not see the dark figure looming behind him. He turned back to Rey, and his expression seemed to shift to one of concern. He reached out his hand to cover hers, “Sometimes, even though you’re here, it seems like you’re halfway across the galaxy. Where do you go off to?”

Rey opened her mouth to make up an answer, to once again assure him that she was fine and everything was alright. But as she as about deflect his question, her advice to Rose came back to haunt her. _Poe and I – we talk to each other._ A wave of shame washed over her as she pushed the thought to the side. Poe would not possibly be able to understand _this._ No, her connection to Ben Solo was her burden alone to bear. She shook her head lightly and smiled, “I was just lost in thought about the project I’ve been working on.”

Rey darted her eyes once more behind Poe, only to find that Ben had vanished from where he had once stood. She felt all her muscles relax, and she sat back slightly in her chair – she could finally return all of her attention to the man sitting in front of her. The man who, at the moment, was rolling his eyes, “We’ve told you – there is nothing to worry about with the Bespin freighter. It’s a simple boarding, something you’ve done hundreds of times by now. You will be –“

A series of high pitched whistles interrupted Poe’s reassurances, causing Rey to fly from her chair. The emergency communication system had not gone off in weeks, since the ambush that killed Leia. Running over to the comm, she patched herself quickly over to the bridge of the ship.

“Rey,” She could hear Finn’s voice over the intercom, dripping with urgency, “The First Order decided to move the Bespin freighter early – we need you here now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! As you can see, I took that moment between Rey and Poe at the end of The Last Jedi and ran with it like a dog with a bone. Please let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, again – thank you for all of your kind words! Seriously, I don’t think I have ever gushed as much as I do when I read all of the reviews on this. As school has started up again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to update all that consistently now but I’m crossing my fingers for a snow day tomorrow so I can wrap up the next few chapters!

_“The First Order decided to move the Bespin freighter early – we need you here now.”_ The words caused a brief ripple of panic to radiate through Rey’s core, and she turned wide-eyed to Poe who, for his part, had completely shifted his demeanor. Where he was once playful and flirtatious, he now carried himself as the general that he was. He stood immediately from his chair, causing the chrome contraption to fly out from under him and across the room. But neither of them paid it any mind; they had much greater concerns at the moment. The pair darted from Rey’s apartments and towards the hanger bay without a word to each other.

Already, Rey could sense the urgency in the air as she ran through the corridors. Pilots were sprinting from point to point, waiting for their leader to give the first command. _That’s me,_ Rey thought as all of her plans for this extraction came flooding back to her. She had been preparing for this for days now. But what had made the First Order decide to move the prothium freighter earlier than anticipated?

Rey did not have any time to dwell on her own question, as her and Poe had reached the hanger bay. Chaos reigned as pilots and commanders alike were shouting across the room and prepping their own spacecraft. Rey immediately started for the _Millennium Falcon_ , where Chewbacca was already boarding. The Wookie let out a thunderous roar telling Rey to hurry up, but before she could take her place at the head of the ship, Poe grabbed her hand.

“Stay safe out there,” He bid her, as he pulled her into a brief hug, “I’ll be covering you from the outside.”

“You, too. Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t,” Rey managed to choke out a small chuckle as she freed herself from his grip. She gave his hand a small squeeze before turning from him – there would be time for sentiments after the mission was complete. Rey needed to focus all of her energy on the task at hand. Amid the chaos in the hanger bay, dodging other pilots running to their own crafts, she darted for the _Falcon_ where Chewbacca already prepped the ship for its mission.

Chewbacca let out an annoyed growl as Rey took her position in the pilot’s seat. She looked to her companion, unamused at the rebuke that he was giving her, “I know, I know. I got here as quick as I could.”

Ignoring any further admonishments from her friend, Rey secured an outdated looking headset onto the top of her head and brought the small microphone up to her lips. With the press of a few buttons, she was patched into the communication link that bound the rest of her team.

“ _Gray Leader signing on,”_ Rey spoke into the device, signaling to the rest of her compatriots that she was there. As the rest of the crew murmured affirmations of their presence, Rey brought up the schematics of the freighter so that it was projected on the console. After studying it once more, she spoke again, _“Alright, rebels – it’s time to do this. Gray Team is going to board and commandeer the freighter. It’s a standard automatic freighter -- we do not anticipate that it is heavily guarded. Remember, these things are only manned by two or three technicians at most.”_

 _“Copy that, Gray Leader.”_ Rose’s voice on the other end of the communication link sounded.

“ _And the rest of you,”_ Rey heard Poe’s voice come in through the link. His authoritative and veteran tone sent a palpable wave of calm through the rest of the team, _“will be covering the Gray Team. The freighter itself has some rudimentary weapons systems – two laser canons on port and starboard sides. Before Gray Team boards on the port side, it’s up to us to disarm the ship. They won’t even know what hit them.”_

With another light roar, Chewbacca signaled that the _Falcon_ was fully prepped and ready for departure. Rey nodded, and pulled the control yoke up to gently rise the ship and carry it out to space. Once she was safely out of the docking bay and she could see the rest of the Gray Team on her radar, she throttled the engine until the rest of the team had joined her. “ _Okay, everyone, we’re going to make the jump to light speed now. Remember, no boarding until all of the weapons systems are taken out.”_

_“Copy that,”_

Rey nodded to her companion, and Chewbacca engaged the hyperdrive. Within seconds, they were travelling at light speed. The force of the jump caused her to fall back, hitting the back of her head hard against the old leather seat. Rubbing the injured spot on her head, Rey watched as the _Millennium Falcon_ passed through brilliant star beams as it entered into light speed. Even now, after all these years, Rey still felt a sense of awe as she helped to pilot the infamous ship.

After only a few short minutes of travel, their team had reached their destination just outside of Bespin space. Coming down from light speed, the rebel ships surrounded the unsuspecting freighter as it was cruising along its flight path. The _Millennium Falcon_ arrived first, followed by the remainder of Gray Team. But the team would not be able to do much until the weapons systems were taken out. Rey watched patiently as the Red and Blue teams began firing their weapons on the Bespin freighter. She could see their intended targets on either side of the small ship.

The first of the shots were fired from the Red Team – a series of photon shots rained down on the freighter. _Alright,_ Rey thought victoriously, _we’ll be able to board soon enough._ But as she watched each pilot take aim and fire, the freighter’s outer hull defenses deflected every shot that the rebels had thrown their way.

Her brow furrowed in confusion - the schematics that she spent hours studying did not indicate that the ship would be this well defended. Rey looked on in horror as the laser cannon locked on to a rebel fighter and fired a single deadly shot. Immediately, parts of the fighter ship blasted into pieces that scattered across space. She gasped; this was not a part of her carefully laid plan. Her mind raced as she watched the cannons charge and fire again. Blessedly, the pilot was able to maneuver out of the way only seconds before the cannon blast was set to make contact.

“We’ve got to do something,” Rey mused, as she racked her brain for something – _anything_ – that could be done to salvage the situation. She closed her eyes, imagining the freighter schematics that she had studied by heart. “They must have refitted the hull systems after our recon team came back from Bespin.”

Chewbacca only groaned in agreement as Rey continued, “The only way we can get their defense systems lowered to destroy the weapons is to get inside of the freighter itself. We have to take it down from the inside.”

The Wookie bellowed in protest – he was not happy about the abrupt change of plans -- but began to power the thrusters so the _Millennium Falcon_ was flying to the port side docking station. Immediately, she could hear the admonishments from the other teams in her headset. “ _Gray Leader,”_ Poe’s frantic voice came over the communication link, “ _What do you think you are doing? Those cannons need to be taken out before you even attempt to board.”_

 _“The only way those cannons are going to be taken out is by someone disabling their defense systems from the inside,”_ Rey countered as she piloted her ship to the opposite end of the freighter. Debris from decimated X-Wings was pummeling towards her at record speeds, and she struggled to maneuver the _Falcon_ safely through.

 _“Negative, Gray Leader,”_ Poe commanded – his voice becoming more stern and steady, “ _it is way too dangerous. Get back here now.”_

With one hand still on the _Falcon_ console, Rey ripped the headset off. She was not going to listen to the admonishments of her team as she tried to help them salvage what was left of this mission. Chewbacca roared in protest, but she did not pay him any mind either. She had prepped and planned for this mission for weeks now – she was not going to let it all go up in smoke when she could do something about it.

Rey veered to the control yoke left as she maneuvered once more around the debris field, hoping to clear the space between herself and the docking bay. But the port side cannon diverted its wrath away from the smaller X-Wing fighters and turned its attention towards the _Millennium Falcon_. With a bright flash, the cannon sent a brilliant beam straight towards her and Chewbacca. Deftly she pulled the ship upward, causing her to momentarily fly out of her seat. But the trick allowed the laser beam to pass by underneath the ship, having fully missed its intended target.

“Woo!” Rey cheered, the exhilaration from the ensuing battle caused her to smile. But her celebration was short lived. Almost as soon as she had evaded the first cannon blast, another was headed her way. Pulling hard to the right, Rey maneuvered the _Falcon_ so that the ship was tilted on its side.

Shot after shot from the port side cannon missed, and Rey continued to fly the ship sideways. _Easy as pie,_ she thought to herself as she navigated through the ensuing battle. Turning and shifting where she needed to, Rey inched closer and closer to the docking port. When she had a visual on the small opening for spacecraft, she throttled all of the _Falcon’s_ thrusters forward towards her intended target. Once more, Rey was pinned to her seat by the ship’s speed.

 _Take that_ , she thought of the rebuke that Poe gave her only moments before, _I was able to do it_.

As she made her final move towards the open port doors, the cannon fired one last shot at the _Millennium Falcon._ With the state of the thrusters, Rey could not evade the assault fast enough. The cannon violently struck the stern of her ship, and the _Falcon_ began to spin uncontrollably in the direction of the freighter. Chewie bellowed in panic; if they did not regain control, the _Falcon_ would undoubtedly crash into the freighter’s siding.

“I know,” Rey responded through gritted teeth.

Somewhere from behind the cockpit, sensors were flashing, signaling that the thrusters in the back of the ship had been badly damaged in the attack. Rey watched helplessly as the freighter’s cannons turned from her to the rest of the rebel fighters and began to shoot mercilessly at her friends.

No, she could not let her mission fail like this.

On instinct, Rey began to move. Standing from her seat, she pulled a lever that shut all power from the stern side thrusters. Almost immediately, the ship stopped in its projected flight path and began to float aimlessly in space. It was only then that the Millennium Falcon stopped spinning uncontrollably and Rey could actually do something to get them back on course.

Quickly, she turned to the damage sensors and punched in a code to close all of the wrecked valves. Turning back to the thrusters, she shifted all power from the now closed valves to the few reserved ones still in working order. _Bless whoever made all the modifications to this flying piece of junk,_ Rey thought fondly of Han and Chewie as she continued her work.

With the power diverted to the reserve thrusters, the _Millennium Falcon_ was able to move slowly through the ensuing battle and to its intended target once more. Luckily for her, the freighter’s defense systems were still turned to the rebel X-Wings fighter pilots and did not pay the old ship any more mind. The _Falcon_ coasted into the freighter’s docking bay, and Chewbacca began the not-so-delicate landing sequence. With the missing thrusters, the ship was grounded with a loud thud – one that she was sure alerted any cargo handlers to its presence.

Immediately, Rey and her partner made their way to the only entrance on the _Falcon._

“Remember,” Rey said as she handed Chewbacca a blaster from the ship’s arsenal, “these freighters aren’t manned by many people. We shouldn’t have any issue bringing down the outer shields.”

The Wookie let out an indignant roar, and Rey blushed. Of course, she should have realized that the former smuggler would know all about boarding and commandeering ships. Nodding at Chewbacca, she secured her own blaster at her waist. Armed with both her saberstaff and the gun, she was as ready as she could be for the unexpected turn of events. Chewbacca pressed a series of buttons on and the door to the _Millennium Falcon_ lowered, casting a thick fog of smoke as it did so.

Before Rey could even see what was in front of her, brilliant beams of blue lights flew in their direction. Instinctively, Rey grabbed the saber at her side. Holding it with both hands, she ignited only one end of the saber and her own brilliant blue beam illuminated the air. As the next series of shots flew towards them, Rey brought her saber down to meet them. Rey masterfully matched each shot in her direction with a parry, protecting both her and Chewbacca from the oncoming assault. Chewie, on the other hand, let out a vicious roar as he opened fire on the crew targeting them.

A desperate cry of pain rose from the smoke, and the assault on the two intruders ceased. Feeling confident that the attack was over, Rey moved carefully down the grate from the _Millennium Falcon_. When the smoke finally cleared, she could see, strewn across the floor, a young man of no more than twenty years. Rey extinguished her saber and walked over to him. His right hand was still clutching his chest, presumably where he had been hit. Her eyes lingered on the young man briefly, but Chewie let out an impatient roar signaling to Rey that it was time to go.

 _That’s one,_ Rey thought callously. There would only be so many crew members manning this ship, and the more that she – _disarmed_ – the closer the Resistance was to a successful mission.

Both Rey and Chewbacca sprinted away from the safety of the _Falcon_ and towards the center of the freighter. Based on the schematics Rey studied, she knew that any defense systems would be housed just below the bridge in the control room. The two intruders had to get at least two floors down before they would be anywhere remotely near the right spot to take down the outer hull.

With a blaster in hand, the partners made their way towards the freighter’s service elevators. Rey jammed her hand hard on the call button and the elevator opened for them. They two were about to enter, but inside the small compartment was an officer dressed in black with a large weapon pointed in their direction. The look on his face said that he was expecting them.

Rey immediately raised her own weapon to meet the officer’s and without any hesitation, she pulled the trigger. A beam of radiant light hit the old man straight in the chest and before he could even cry out his body crumpled beneath him. _That’s two,_ Rey thought as she pried the blaster from the old man’s hands and secured the new weapon to the holster at her waist. She had a gnawing sense that she would need it.

Both she and Chewbacca stepped over the man’s body and into the elevator. With the press of a few buttons, the contraption shot down to the freighter’s lower levels. The two waited for their door to open, blasters drawn in preparation for another attack. _Surely there cannot be more crew members on this ships,_ she told herself, but she remained vigilant regardless. Although most cargo freighters did not have many crew, she could not quite help the bad feeling that she plagued her as the elevator doors slide open. Rey swallowed hard as the open ingresses blessedly revealed that no one was waiting for them on the other side.

Moving quickly, Chewbacca and Rey darted down the hallway, past a series of doorways and corridors, until they happened upon door number XI56392. Rey recognized the number from her blueprints immediately.

“That’s it,” she cried out, and they barreled towards the room. But her enthusiasm faded as she noticed the series of keypads – all requiring access codes – that stood between her and the freighter’s defense systems.

Access codes that she did not have.

Rey sighed, defeat washing over her like a rainstorm. She slumped back against the wall; how could she have overlooked something as simple as access codes? But the freighter’s blueprints hadn’t once suggested the kind of security systems that she was seeing in front of her now. There had to be something else that she could do, another way into the computer chamber.

Her companion let out a thunderous roar, and pushed Rey gently to the side. Raising his blaster, he fired a single shot to the control panel at the door. A mixture of smoke and the scent of burning metal filled the air. Immediately, the door swung open for the two of them. Rey lifted her head, her eyes wide. How had she not thought of that? She looked over to Chewbacca who let out a low-pitched groan.

“That’s really worked for you in the past?” Rey asked incredulously, but Chewie did not have the chance to respond. Red lights flashed and sirens began to wail at the destruction of ship’s security system. Shortly – if there were any more crewmen aboard - the rest of the ship would be alerted to the fact that there were two intruders on board. More importantly, everyone would know exactly where they were. The two, without another word to each other, sprinted for the unmanned computer chamber.

Screens lined all four walls of the chamber, and Rey could easily see the battle that was happening just outside of the ship. The Resistance pilots were valiantly holding their own while Rey struggled to salvage the mission. She had to do this for them. Ignoring the high pitched wail of the sirens, Rey darted for the center consol. Finding the inside control panel, Chewbacca jammed his fist to lock the doors behind him. Rey could only imagine the motley group of crewmembers who would no doubt surround them in just a few moments.

“If I can just get the outer defense hull down,” Rey said aloud, “The Resistance can take out those cannons and we can commandeer this ship as planned.” On the computer in front of her, Rey began the sequence of scanning the defense systems. She tapped impatiently on the console; each passing second was precious to the Resistance.

From outside of the barricaded door, Rey could hear the footsteps of what she could assume were the reinforcements sent to take back the ship. Her eyes widened with panic. Just how many men were assigned to this freighter?

“Come on, come on.” Rey whispered and she hit the side of computer in agitation – she needed to disable the defenses _now._ But with her impatient taps, something seemed to have stirred inside of the computer, as the screen flashed a vivid shade of green. Rey’s shoulders collapsed in relief; the scans had found the hull defense system.

With a few quick strokes of the keys in front of her, Rey quickly worked to disable the outer hull. Almost as soon as she submitted the command, she could hear a rumble throughout the ship. She let out a massive sigh; Resistance fighters were working to take out the cannons. Another, more potent quake, signaled to Rey that the pilots were succeeding in their task.

Soon, this would all be over.

But her relief soon evaporated; the footsteps outside of the door only grew louder and closer. Rey looked to Chewie, who stood with his blaster pointing at the door. The Wookie bellowed, his voice sounding frantic. The locked door would not hold them for long, and the two intruders were cornered in the tiny room. Escaping this would take some kind of miracle, and Rey was worried that her stroke of luck had run out.

Unsheathing her saber, Rey also took a position opposite Chewie and close to the only exit in the room.

Within moments, the doors burst open and the freighter’s crewmen began firing aimlessly into the computer room. Chewbacca turned with his back to the wall, using the structure for coverage. Rey dove quickly to her left, avoiding a beam from a blaster by only millimeters. She could feel the heat from the blaster beams as they rained down on them.

Taking a deep breath, Rey steadied herself. Using the wall for leverage, she propelled herself towards the onslaught. Swinging her saber, she brought the ignited blade down on one of her attackers. _That’s three,_ she told herself as she began to deflect more oncoming shots. _But how many more are there?_

A deep and thunderous cry erupted from somewhere across the room. For only a quarter of a second, Rey looked over to the source of the noise. Chewbacca was falling backward with one arm clutching his shoulder, as to of the crew members surrounded him. The Wookie soon regained his footing, and violently swung at the two assailants. Immediately, the two collapsed onto the floor as Chewie charged at another attacker at the entrance to the control room.

Lost in the scene before her, the pain that radiated through her on left leg surprised Rey. Just as she turned from watching Chewbacca, she caught the remainder of a blaster beam as it grazed her calf and caused her to topple over. Her saber, now extinguished, flew across the room. She cried out, looking down at her injury. She winced when she saw the gash - the spot where the blaster hit her left an open wound. But she did not have time to dwell on her own injury. Using the wall once more as leverage, Rey stood gingerly. Her injury caused her to stumble forward as she lifted her own blaster.

With a single pull of the trigger, Rey hit her attacker square in the chest. _That’s four._

Hobbling through the chaos of the battle before her, Rey’s narrowly avoided shot after shot. She moved as quickly as she could, but with each step her leg only ached more and more. Leaning against the wall, she used the structure as both support and cover as she fired at the rest of their assailants.

But the pain in her leg was too much for her to tolerate, and she collapsed onto her knees. Her weapon flew a few meters in front of her from the fall, leaving her only with the blaster she stole from the man in the elevator at her side. She went to reach for it, but their attackers surrounded her, taking full advantage of her momentary weakness. With all of the blasters pointed at her, any attempt at reaching for the hidden weapon would have been in vain. Rey closed her eyes, waiting for their opponents to claim their victory.

A series of shots rang out, and Rey could feel the floors shake with the vibrations of falling bodies. Immediately, Rey looked up to check her surroundings. The crewmembers who surrounded her were either lying in crumpled heaps on the floor, or shaking with their hands in the air. The distinguishable Wookie’s roar sounded throughout the cabin, and she looked up to see Chewbacca, escorted by the rest of Gray Team, clearing out the hostile crew members who remained in the room.

A hand was offered to her, and Rey looked up to see Rose Tico’s battle worn face smiling down at her. Taking her extended hand, Rose helped Rey to find unsteady footing. As she leaned on the young woman for support, the only question that truly mattered welled up inside of Rey, “Did we do it?”

Rose’s cheeks lifted into a small smile, “Most officers were already down here and taken care of by you and Chewie when the team finally made it to the docking station – it made making sure everything else was secure a piece of cake.”

Rey’s shoulders collapsed in relief as Rose continued with a mock salute, “We did it. The ship is yours, captain.”

* * *

 

For the first time in weeks, Rey slept peacefully through the night. Perhaps it was the success of a well-executed, albeit heavily improvised, mission. Or, perhaps, it was the sleeping draught given to her by the medi-droid. Regardless of the cause, Rey woke the morning after the freighter battle in the medical wing well rested.

“You are to absolutely avoid any strenuous activity until your leg heals fully,” The medi-droid instructed as it delicately changed the bandages on her still open wound. “Once you had been injured, you should have immediately elevated it and tried to stop the bleeding.”

Rey’s eyes rolled upward as the droid scolded her further, “Yes, I will try to remember that the next time I am being attacked.”

But Rey’s own brutal sense of sarcasm was lost on the robot, who only seemed content with the promise that she would do better next time, “Very good. You are still confined to the medical bay until you’re able to walk on your own again.”

Her shoulders dropped in disappointment as she looked around the immaculately white hospital room. A few other members of her team were sitting on beds and chairs, receiving treatments for minor scratches and bruises. Chewbacca had been released early the previous evening, much to the relief of all droids working in the medical bay. Rey had watched in amusement as the Wookie threatened to rip off the limbs of anyone who tried to treat him for his minor injuries. She supposed she should have been grateful that her team members had not been seriously wounded in the battle. If anyone was going to be confined to bedrest, she was happy that it was her. But once her friend had been released, Rey was left in the medical bay alone, with only the droids for company.

Rose had visited her once – but only to relay the status of the freighter, which was currently en route to the rebel base on Naxos. Relief washed over her when she heard the news; after all that struggle the interception of the vessel was a success. Before her friend left, however, she gave Rey one final warning, “Just so you know, Poe is _really_ pissed.”

If she were being perfectly honest, Rey figured that would be the case. After all, she went against a direct order from the general himself. That alone was ground for a demotion or a relief from duty. But by doing so, she had managed to salvage the mission from the depths of failure and that had to count for something.

She was absentmindedly picking at a loose thread in the sheets, still mulling over just what she would say to her commander. But before she could even string together a coherent defense of her actions, he came storming through the medical bay doors, past the buzzing droids, and straight to where Rey lay with her leg elevated in bandages. Rey had seen Poe Dameron angry and upset before, but she could not quite place the look in his eyes as he marched over towards her.

It was something beyond fury.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Poe’s voice boomed over the ambient noises that surrounded them, causing the nearby droids to startle. Immediately, the sentient machines began to busy themselves with work a safe distance away from the livid general.

But Rey did not cower from the fuming look Poe was giving her. She looked up from the string she had been playing with, and met his fiery gaze with her own, “I was doing what I had to do to save our skin.”

“You disobeyed a direct order,” He hissed as he began to pace heavily at the foot of her hospital bed. She had never quite seen him this agitated before, and it surprised her. He ran a hand through his dark locks as he sighed, “Not only were you completely insubordinate to my commands, but you _could have died.”_

Rey crossed her arms, “That mission would have failed if it wasn’t for me. If we were to have any hope of intercepting the freighter and getting all of that prothium for the Resistance, then someone would have had to disable those hull shields.”

“You ignored my command,” Poe repeated, frustration dripping in his voice. Already, Rey could tell that he would not back down.

But she only raised her chin in defiance, “I seem to recall that you disobeyed quite a few orders when you were serving under General Organa.”

Poe startled, and for a fleeting moment, a deep sadness welled in his eyes. But the seasoned pilot shook his head, and the irate look returned once more. “Leia gave me hell for all of the stunts that I pulled too. But I only learned my lesson after I almost got the rest of the Resistance killed. I can’t let you make the same mistakes I did – the stakes are just too high.”

Rey could easily see the mixture of anxiety and fury etched on his face, but somewhere deep down she could sense a well of pride from Poe. But he pushed down that very same pride, and instead only hung on to his anger. She furrowed her brow – how could he be so ungrateful as she lay in the medical bay for injuries she sustained saving the mission?

She posed that same question to him, and he could only sputter indignantly in response, “It-it’s not about being grateful, Rey. It’s about the fact that you could have gotten even more hurt than you already have, or worse.” His tone softened as they both considered what could have been, but Rey only found herself growing angrier at his patronizing manner.

“I am competent, you know,” She crossed her arms once more, and found herself unable to look him in the eye, “I have the same training as everyone else, and I am not some delicate little flower that needs protection. I can hold my own in battle, even if you don’t quite believe it.”

“I believe you can, Rey.” Poe sighed, and he ran his hands through his hair again – something she realized he only did when he was anxious, “But for now, you’re not going to. You’re relieved of duty until I’m convinced you’re not going to pull another stunt like that again.”

Rey was about to say something, to fight for her place within the Resistance. But Poe turned from Rey, not allowing her the chance to defend herself. It was only when he was halfway out of the medical bay that he turned to look at her once more. He gave her a sad smile that did not quite reach his eyes, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

As he was walking out of the room, she could sense his resolve in the decision to remove her from her command. But she could also sense his sadness; he hated having to do this to her. She was still fuming as he left the medical wing entirely, leaving her to stew in anger. _I never thought he would be so patronizing,_ Rey thought indignantly. She could feel a headache –no doubt from the strain of the previous conversation --coming on. She pressed her open palms against her eyes to block the bright lights of the medical bay.

“ _You stole something of mine.”_ A voice broke her peace, and Rey opened her eyes to see Ben standing just at the foot of her bed. Internally, she groaned –he always had the most impeccable timing. He was regarding her carefully and although he couldn’t see her surroundings, her posture and bandaged leg were enough to give her away, “ _You’re injured.”_

“I didn’t die,” Rey could not help the sarcastic bite in her words –she was still on edge from the conversation with Poe, “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

Ben’s face fell at her words and the look of compassion –of concern – that colored his expression was a welcome sight, especially after the harsh rebuke she just received from Poe., “ _I –“_

Rey sighed, bringing her face to her palm, “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.” The apology felt weird on her lips; she had not imagined she would ever say those words to Ben Solo. Not after everything that had happened between them. But it wasn’t he who she was mad at, and if she let her anger get the better of her then she was no better than the First Order.

 _“You’ll be fine,”_ His words came out as a half-whisper, as if he was reassuring himself rather than Rey. He looked from her bandaged leg back to her face, as he said louder, _“You’re strong.”_

A small, sad smile crossed her lips. She opened her mouth to speak, “Ben –“

“ _The freighter. Where is it?”_ Ben’s concerned tone had vanished and the words were out of his mouth before Rey could even finish her thought. With them, Rey could feel the chasm that separated the two of them deeper than she ever had before. Once upon a time, she had come so close to helping him overcome the Dark Side’s influence. A small part of her held on to that very thought –that she could still convince him to turn. But his actions were making it more and more difficult.

“You gave us no choice,” Rey frowned, her voice once again gaining the resolve that it had lost, “There was enough prothium on that freighter to wipe out entire planets.”

The expression on Ben’s face did not waver, “ _It is no matter, we will get it back_.”

Rey did not know how he would live up to that threat, as the freighter was being escorted by the _Stargazer_ to the rebel base at Naxos. It would be impossible for the First Order to locate that freighter. But, of course, she was not about to divulge that information to Ben. Instead, she looked at him sadly, “You can try, Ben. But you’ll never win.”

Ben Solo’s expression hardened, _“We will see.”_

“You don’t have to do this,” Rey insisted, her voice pleading with the man in front of her.

“ _Neither do you.”_ He took a step forward, the gap between them closing. He reached out and grabbed her hand. Through the bond that connected them, Rey could feel a jolt of electricity –one that she had not felt in years –at his touch. Overwhelmed by the sensation that was only intensified through the Force, her eyelids fluttered closed.  Her hand trembled beneath his as he whispered, “ _Join me, Rey. And we will put an end to all of this fighting.”_

She took a deep breath only to find that her mouth had gone bone dry at his words. She opened her eyes to refuse his offer, to tell him that she would never join him while he was with the First Order. But as she one more opened her eyes, she was greeted only by the empty medical bay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that it took longer than expected to bring you all chapter four. I had a really difficult time writing this chapter, and I think I rewrote it around four times. The writer’s block hit me hard this chapter, but I have to say that the awesome feedback I received from each and every one of you really helped me to push through. Please continue to let me know what you think.
> 
> Also, for those of you who were a little worried about how heavy the Damerey is in Gravity, just know that I haven’t forgotten my true OTP!

**Gravity**

NotSoJollywood

 **Disclaimer:** If I owned Star Wars, there would be a hell of a lot more Reylo smut in The Last Jedi, just saying.

 **Summary:** She tried for five years to push him out, to forget about the connection that they had. Five years, and Rey had all but moved on to find her place in the galaxy, at the heart of the Resistance. But, like gravity, he kept pulling her back in.

 **Author's Note:** I'm so sorry that it took longer than expected to bring you all chapter four. I had a really difficult time writing this chapter, and I think I rewrote it around four times. The writer's block hit me hard this chapter, but I have to say that the awesome feedback I received from each and every one of you really helped me to push through. Please continue to let me know what you think.

Also, for those of you who were a little worried about how heavy the Damerey is in  _Gravity,_  just know that I haven't forgotten my true OTP!

* * *

 

**Chapter Four**

The first thing Rey noticed when the  _Stargazer_  finally docked on the rebel base of Naxos was the harsh humidity. As soon as the doors to the massive cruiser swung open, before she even stood from her seat, the atmosphere of the jungle planet hit her both suddenly and hard. She momentarily choked on the heavy air as her lungs adjusted to the planet's dense atmosphere. Of course, she had read the briefing on the Resistance's newest temporary home. She had been made aware of the planet's weather systems.

And yet, she had not expected it to be so debilitating.

Mother of moons, it was oppressive. She had grown up with overbearing heat in the deserts of Jakku, but that air had been dry and arid, not sinking in moisture like Naxos's.

For the briefest of moments, Rey found herself longing for the simple desert planet that she once called home.

She swallowed hard, suppressing both the lump in her throat and all thoughts of her former home. Now was not the time to dwell on such things  _—_ the Resistance was on the move again after another successful mission. With the aid of the medical droids, she gingerly stood from her seat on the transport. Grabbing the aluminum crutches from their place at her side, she ambled off of the ship's platform grate and onto Naxos' lush soil. Immediately, she could feel the base of her walking aid sink helplessly into the mud.

Rey groaned as she looked down at the damage  _—_ it was just her luck that her support sank two inches deep into the dense sludge. Leveraging all of her body weight onto her uninjured leg, she heaved the aluminum contraption loose. But having overestimated the amount of force needed to free herself from the mud, she tumbled gracelessly over  _—_ falling on both of her knees and into the muck in the process.

"Ah, kriff!" She cursed as a sharp pain radiated once more through her injury. Although it had been a week since the successful commandeering of the prothium freighter —and they had successfully escorted it to its destination at Naxos —Rey's injury had not yet fully healed. The medic droids required her to remain in the medical wing on base for daily monitoring until they decided she was healthy enough to be released. But Rey could not help the sinking suspicion that Poe had ordered the machines to keep a watchful eye on her and ensure she did not disobey his direct orders.

Sometimes, if her prison wardens were merciful, she could enjoy a blessed walk on her own — although, if her current predicament was indication, she was struggling to do even that.

"Wait," a familiar voice called out, and Rey could feel her face flush pink at the thought of anyone seeing her helpless like this — let alone  _him_. A coarse hand was offered to her. "Let me help you."

Rey shook off Poe Dameron's hand, her wounded pride getting the better of her. It had been the first time that she had seen him since he reprimanded her for her successful saving of the freighter mission. As she made her resentment of his decision no secret, he avoided coming to see her in the medical wing for the entire week. While Finn, Rose, and Chewbacca all visited her, Poe was the only one who claimed to be too busy. She could not say that she had minded all too much, as her own anger towards him hadn't yet faded.

And, yet, here he was — offering her a helping hand.

Rey stubbornly turned from the extended hand, ignoring the crestfallen look on Poe's face as she grabbed the crutch that had landed two feet in front of her. Standing the crutch up, she used it as leverage to pull herself from the ground. She found herself cringing as excruciating pain shot up through her injured leg when she put her body weight on it. But she ignored the discomfort, determined to prove that she could take care of herself without any help. She managed to lift herself up, only swaying occasionally as she attempted to balance herself on the unsteady ground.

When she was upright and steady with the crutches gingerly under her arms, she looked to see Poe's eyes fixated on her. There was a well of sadness in his feature, coupled with an expression that Rey could not quite place. He brought his hand to the back of his neck and sighed heavily. "Rey, I— "

But the last thing that Rey wanted to hear were the barrage of excuses she knew were about to come out of Poe's mouth. Rey hobbled along on her crutches, getting stuck in the mud with each passing movement. Poe caught up with her as she once again struggled to get her walking aid free from its stuck position. "Rey, will you just talk to me?"

For the first time in a week, Rey finally met Poe Dameron's gaze — she returned his concerned expression with a hard stare of her own. "That depends. Are you going to take back my discharge from duty?"

Poe closed his eyes and exhaled, "It's not that simple. What you did was a—"

But Rey had heard enough, and she began her clumsy trek to solid ground once more. She hobbled, one step at a time, until she reached the edge of pavement that would lead her out from the humidity and Poe's penetrating gaze. Against her better judgement, she threw a glance over her shoulder to see Poe rooted in the spot where she had left him. He watched her with that same sad and disappointed expression chiseled onto his features as when he had come to relieve her of her duties. When he noticed her eyes on him, he offered her a small, sad smile.

 _Don't just stand there,_ a voice from deep inside gnawed at Rey,  _do something._

She wondered if she should forget her anger and resentment.  _Let the past die,_  Ben's words echoed in her mind, causing a shiver to run up her spine. But instead of heeding the advice, Rey only hardened in her resolve. She turned her back on the general, and staggered inside.

This time, Poe did not follow her.

* * *

 

Rey stared at the blank white ceiling of the medical wing, exhaling sharply as the droids cleaned her bandages for the day. She couldn't help but feel annoyed at the intrusion on her time, especially when the droids ignored her insistence that she was absolutely fine. Her injury was feeling much better than it had days prior, and it was getting easier for her to walk without aid — or at least, that was what she told the machines tending to her. She wanted to be free of the constraints placed on her by the injury, as well as by the leadership in the Resistance.

In truth, since landing on Naxos yesterday, Rey had already grown bored of the humid jungle planet. She had not stepped foot in the lush greenery that the planet had to offer since disembarking from the  _Stargazer_ — not that she particularly wanted to repeat the incident with her crutches any time soon. But even now, getting stuck in the dirt seemed as a preferable alternative to the confines of the hospital bed.

With a gentle pat on her injured leg, the droid finished changing her bindings. "Now, was that so hard?"

Rey ignored the droid, knowing full well that if she opened her mouth to reply only sarcasm would come out. Without another word, the machine finished up its work, leaving Rey alone to finally relax.

She continued to stare at the ceiling above her for a few more moments before the boredom began to set in again. And so her eyes darted from the pristine white ceiling to the small window on the other side of her. She looked enviously at the others just beyond the glass pane. It was true she had absolutely detested the humid planet upon her first arrival, but something had changed in her as she continually stared out of the window for hours on end. Even in her days on Jakku, where she was deprived of both shade and water, she never shied away from adventure. Like the strongest of magnets, the jungle seemed to call to her.

Picking up her aluminum crutches that had been carelessly dropped on the floor when she first arrived, Rey steadied herself. She clumsily exited the medical wing of the base, turning random corners until she found the nearest exit. People passed her by, offering small smiles as they did. No one mentioned the unfair relief from duty that had been thrust upon her, and for that she was grateful. The last thing she wanted as she tried to forget her worries was to be reminded of them. But she was fortunate enough to be left alone.

A small devious smile lit up her features as she gently tapped the button to open the air locked doors, and it only faltered slightly as the sultry atmosphere washed over her. She would not let the balmy atmosphere deter her any longer. Moving the crutches first to guide her steps, she planted her feet on the ground.

Mercifully, she did not sink in.

The planet was alive with noise —something that she had not noticed upon her first arrival the day before. Resistance members were chatting excitedly as they passed by, or calling across open fields to one another, and she could hear the thunderous booms of X-Wing fighters as they flew overhead. But beyond that, there was the ambient noises of life — creatures that communicated to one another in unfamiliar squawks and caws. And even beyond that, she could hear a faint and gentle hum beneath the ground.

Naxos itself was calling to her.

Carefully, so she did not have a repeat of her fall from yesterday, Rey moved along the unpaved ground. A thrilling sense of adventure washed over her as she neared the treeline, and her heart thundered in her chest as she crossed into it. The magnetic pull she felt while confined to the hospital bed only intensified as she reached the jungle itself.

As soon as she crossed into the canopy covered jungle, it was as if she had entered a different realm altogether. The sounds of the Resistance faded into silence, as if they were not there at all, and all she could hear were the ambient noises of the surrounding wilderness. Somewhere nearby, she could hear the faint sounds of running water — a spring, perhaps. She could hear the caw of bird-like creatures overhead, and her eyes darted upward to see a scaled species flying above her.

The wings of the creatures lit up into a brilliant shade of green, and Rey's eyes widened like a child at the bioluminescence. In all of her travels around the galaxy, she had never seen anything like that before. A small laugh escaped her throat as she watched the creature circle around the canopy overhead. She could have stayed there watching the magnificence before her all day, but she could still feel the gnawing sense that she had to explore further.

She had not reached her destination yet.

Tottering onward with her crutches, Rey took in the different sights and sounds of the jungle floor. It appeared that many species on Naxos shared the luminescent properties, and Rey marveled at them all. As she walked deeper and deeper into the greenery, the canopy of trees above seemed to grow thicker and thicker and the dark grey sky all but disappeared. And with her progression, the call that she felt deep in her bones only grew stronger and stronger.

Following that gut instinct that told her to push deeper into the jungle, Rey found herself at an outcropping of rocks. Her brow furrowed — the formation seemed out of place in the lush greenery that surrounded it. Unthinkingly, she moved toward it. And, upon closer inspection, she could see eerily familiar carvings etched into the deep gray stones that appeared to be faded with time.

She let out an audible gasp as the realization dawned on her; the faint carvings before her were similar to markings found in the Jedi texts she kept hidden away on the  _Millennium Falcon._ Her shocked expression quickly devolved into a deep frown — she had no access to the books at the moment, and she was unable to translate the etchings before her. Her shoulders collapsed sadly, but she stared long and hard at them, hoping to commit them to memory.

Curiously, she ran her hand delicately over the faint engravings. Closing her eyes, she tried to picture just what this place had been eons ago, and why she felt so completely drawn to it. But as she did so, she could feel herself being pulled violently from her present state and into the unknown.

When she opened her eyes again, the grey skies of had been replaced by utter darkness — far too dark for her liking. She could not see further than a few feet in front of her, even after her vision adequately adjusted to the blackness. And it was cold. Mother of moons, it was so cold. She could see the whiteness of her breath dance in front of her with each exhale and the hair on her arms stood as chills radiated up and down her body.

Something was not right —she could feel it deep in her bones, a truth that she was certain of as if it were her own name. She could feel it through the Force, an upset in the delicate balance that tethered the very universe together.

Carefully, she took a step — one foot in front of the other. With one hand gripped tightly around the saberstaff at her hip, she began to explore the immediate area around her. The jungle certainly looked like Naxos, with the same familiar vines and canopies that she had been exploring only hours earlier. Only this time, the planet was void of any life. The brilliant creatures that she saw throughout the jungle floor were all gone now, leaving Rey entirely alone.

_You're not alone —_

_Neither are you._

The words seemed to reverberate through the jungle and the trees, until she felt the planet's core — and herself —shake with them. The echoes soon died down, leaving the faint sounds of a vibrating pulse in their wake. Her eyes darted through the forest floor, desperately searching for the source of the faint heartbeat.

Her pace quickened as she tore through hanging vines and fallen tree limbs. She stumbled over rocks and sunk deep into the mud, but she paid no mind to the obstacles in her wake. The pulse was getting louder now, desperately calling for her to find it.

It was summoning her.

Just how long she had been searching for it, she did not know. Minutes could have passed, but for her it felt like hours. Eventually though, her hunt for the source led her to a deep cavernous structure made long ago. The faint pulse grew into a thunderous heartbeat as she neared the entrance to the structure, and instinctively, she knew that this — this temple — was where she needed to be. She could feel the weight of ages past hang heavy over her head as she entered it, and she shuddered.

But Rey's curiosity got the better of her, and she passed through the mouth of the cave. She walked for several minutes through the opening, her hand gliding along the walls as she did so. She could feel the raw power radiating through the walls, an energy she hadn't felt since her time on Ahch-To. Her own pulse quickened as the cave walls opened into a deep cavern, and the thundering heartbeat that had summoned her to this strange place abruptly stopped.

In the center of the cavern was a raised dais —an altar unlike one Rey had ever seen before. It was less grand than the ones she had seen on her missions on Coruscant, and much more practical. Gliding towards it, she let her fingers gently dust the top of it. The stone was rough and cold underneath her tender touch. Her eyes darted all over, drinking in the sights before her. A forest of radiant kyber crystals hung from the roof of the cave, and she marveled at the beauty of it all.

She could have stared at the iridescent beauty for hours, but the gnawing feeling that she was there for a specific purpose tore her away from natural magnificence. She followed the sound of dripping water until she reached the back of the cavern. In the darkness, she could see water trickling down from the roof of the cave and into a large bottomless pool at its base. Rey stepped over to the natural fountain, and gazed deeply into it.

The pure blackness of the water below gave way, and Rey found herself being pulled in.

She didn't fight it; pure instinct told her that all attempts at resistance would be in vain. Allowing the Force to guide her, she allowed herself to fall. And as she descended, she could see, hear and feel different echoes — _echoes of past Jedi_ , a voice from the back of her mind corrected —as they surrounded her.

The scene around her shifted from a chasm of nothingness to blinding sunlight as it reflected off a sea of sand. Her breath hitched; she was instantly reminded of Jakku, although she did not recognize any of the traditional landmarks of Niima Outpost. In front of her, she could see a young, sandy-haired slave boy — her heart panged as an unexpected sense of familiarity washed over her — accompanied by an older gentlemen and the echoes of the promise of freedom,  _sweet freedom_. she could feel the unmistakable wave of compassion that his master felt for him. The sentiment was only fleeting, but welled deep inside of her core.

The scene before her changed, and she witnessed an archaic circle of council member discussing what Rey could only assume were matters of great importance. She couldn't hear what they were all saying, but she could so potently sense that they could not see what was directly in front of them — all blinded by their own hubris.

She was falling again, this time through a series of spectacular temples and extravagant libraries.  _The Jedi Archives,_ she knew where she was instinctively —she had heard about this place from unquenchable thirst for knowledge and justice in the galaxy was so palatable here, and it left Rey awestruck as she passed quickly through the fleeting images. When she finally stopped her descent, she landed on the cold, hard ground at the center of the same council chambers she saw only moments earlier.

Next to her stood the same sandy-haired boy from earlier, only now he was a man grown.

One of the council members leaned forward in his seat. "You are on this Council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master."

Rey could sense the tension in the room, as well as a rise of indignation from the young man beside her. She truly could not blame him, as she felt the same sensation in her own gut. A burst of anger exploded from the him. "What?! How can you do this? This is outrageous, it's unfair . . . I'm more powerful than any of you. How can you be on the Council and not be a Master?"

But the stoic Jedi did not budge at the impassioned plea. "Take a seat, young Skywalker."

 _Skywalker_. The name hit Rey like a blaster to the chest, but before she could even react, the scene changed around her again. The young man was still there, alone in a darkened room. Rey could sense his anger and uncertainty as it overtook him. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and extend a comforting hand to him, but as she lifted her palm to do just that she could sense another presence in the room.

A young woman, whose features reminded Rey so strongly of Leia, fluttered into the scene before her. Although her belly was swollen by pregnancy, she was positively radiant in a blue satin dress and elegant braids. Suddenly, Rey was overwhelmed with another emotion that swelled in the young man next to her — love. Love, mixed with the same rage and fear for the future that had been with him just moments before.

"Anakin," the woman's face furrowed with worry as she cupped his cheek in her hand. "People are beginning to speculate. It won't be long before the Jedi Council finds out and separates us."

The Jedi's hands gently closed over hers, as he whispered promises that no matter what transpired, the Council would not be able to tear them apart. Anxiety flooded Rey's senses as the woman's word's sunk in — how could the Jedi deny something so pure? She felt indignation on the part of the young couple before her and her own anger began to rise.

 _It is time for the Jedi to end._ The words that she heard once before broke her from her reverie, leaving her choking and gasping for air.

When she finally came to, her hand was outstretched, tracing the ruins etched into the beautiful stone. Her crutches lay forgotten at her side. Sound and life had returned to the jungle on Naxos, and there was no sign of the kyber cave and its hidden temple that she had found earlier. All traces of the Jedi had disappeared, leaving Rey with no explanation or clues to make sense of it all.

Nothing but Luke Skywalker's words echoed in the deep crevices of her mind.

* * *

 

Rey bolted out of the dense jungle and back to the Resistance base as fast as her injured leg would carry her. She ignored the greetings and smiles from her peers as she approached the center of activity —she was a woman on a mission.

Upon limping through the doors of the medical bay, she darted for the small space between her assigned bed and the cold floor. With a single hand reached under the crevice, she pulled out a weathered, moss-colored satchel. Breathing a sigh of relief, she opened the bag to reveal the ancient Jedi texts she had stolen from Ahch-To.

The texts were not something Rey perused often. Soon after taking them, she realized that the archaic teachings they held were confused and muddled, and oftentimes opened to a vast array of interpretations. She had set them aside in recent years, instead letting her own feelings and instinct guide her practice in the Force. But as she thought back to the familiar stone markings from deep in the jungle, she hoped that they would provide her with some answers.

She delicately opened the smallest of the ancient books, but the spine nevertheless cracked from use. A small wave of dust wafted from the cover, and Rey's nose tickled from the flecks in the air. Gingerly, she turned the pages as her eyes scanned for anything that resembled what she saw earlier that day.

She had not gotten very far into the first book before a presence disturbed her concentration. She could sense Poe Dameron before she could see him. Shutting the book in front of her with a small snap, she tucked it carefully back into her satchel before he could see what she was doing. Aside from Chewbacca, no one else knew about the hidden texts. She preferred it that way.

When Rey turned around to face Poe, she was greeted first by a small, apologetic smile. He took a cautious step towards her before raising his eyebrows in inquiry. "Can I sit here?" motioning to the hospital bed in front of him.

Rey hesitated for only a moment before giving him a deliberate nod. He joined her, sitting on the edge of the carefully made bed. Rey regarded the man in front of her cautiously, wondering if she should say something to him. After the muddled vision from the jungle, Rey simply did not have the energy to waste on yet another fight. But before she could even piece together a sentence, Poe cleared his throat. "I just wanted to say that I am sorry."

She had not been expecting _that_.

Her brows rose, as she asked incredulously, "You mean you're putting me on active duty again?"

The general smiled sadly before shaking his head. Rey was about to speak up, to direct her anger and indignation towards him once again, but Poe continued. "I'm sorry that I didn't fully explain why I made the decision that I did."

Rey only furrowed her brows.

"It was something that Leia said to me not too long ago," Poe ran his fingers through his dark curls, and Rey momentarily bristled at the mention of the great general's name. "She was worried about you."

"Worried about me?"

"'She's important' she would say all the time, usually slapping me upside the head when she did so," Poe's face lit up in a half-hearted smile at the memory, and Rey could not help but do the same. "You're the last of the Jedi, Rey. Leia never let me forget it. And, if I'm going to be perfectly honest, I don't know what we — what I — would do if you-"

"-if I died." Rey finished the morbid thought for him, but the words sounded strange and bitter on her lips. Poe nodded as all of Rey's anger and indignation seemed to momentarily dissolve. She had faced the prospect of her own mortality many times, most recently in the battle that had taken Leia from them. Even she wondered what would happen to the Jedi order if —if she—

Rey shook the intrusive thought from her mind.

A sense of understanding washed over her. It was, after all, her duty to study the ways of the Jedi and pass on what she knew so that their traditions and knowledge did not die out.

 _It is time for the Jedi to end._ Luke's words from her vision echoed loudly in her head, causing her to involuntarily shudder. Her thoughts momentarily drifted back the books hidden under the hospital bed. What secrets about the Jedi Order did they hold? The thought gnawed at her, as remnants of her vision flooded her mind once more.

"Rey?" Poe called gently, bringing her attention once again back to the present.

Her head snapped in his direction, and she a blush of embarrassment covered her cheeks. But the indignation at her unceremonious demotion still ebbed at her. Taking a deep breath to regain her composure, she calmly replied, "I am still not happy about being sidelined. I'm not some precious sandstone that will crumble and break easily."

Poe nodded, as if he had been expecting her to say that. "I know that, Rey. We all do. But I can't have any of my officers disobeying direct orders, even if they are perfectly capable of handling dangerous situations. I have to treat you the same way that I would anyone else."

Deep down, Rey knew that he was right. In fact, if she had been in his position, she would have done the same thing.

"But—" Poe continued, as his right hand dug into the pocket of his uniform, "while I can't have you return to active duty just yet, I was thinking that there was another way that you could help."

From out of the front pocket of his uniform, Poe turned over the palm of his hand. Inside, Rey could see a tiny black and silver computer chip that glistened in the harsh light of the medical bay.

Her brow furrowed as she looked at the small device. "What is that?"

"Data files," Poe explained as all of the energy and charisma that he had been lacking these last few days finally returned to him. "And there are a lot more where this came from. One of our last recon missions returned with boxes full of these files — all from the time of the Empire and even the Old Republic."

"And what do you think is on these files?"

Poe bit his bottom lip. "We aren't entirely sure. We know that the First Order has been adapting a substantial amount of technology from the Galactic Empire, so we were hoping any information on the weapons systems or any indication of what they might be doing with all of it. The new class of dreadnoughts are equipped with defenses we suspect are imperial in nature. We need to know how to take them down."

Rey could recall perfectly well just how deadly the new class of weapons were, and how difficult it had been to escape her last encounter with one.

"Research," Rey grumbled, and she could not help but think that her talents were being wasted. "You want me to do research." But despite how she felt about this assignment, she grudgingly accepted the small computer chip from Poe's outstretched hand. She was not happy with her  _busy work_ , but the books tucked away underneath her bed would just have to wait — the Resistance had to come first.

Whether Poe did not notice her hesitation, or simply chose to ignore it, Rey could not be sure. But as she took the data files from his outstretched hand, his expression lifted into his signature charming smile, and he brought his lips down to Rey's cheek. She leaned into the gentle peck, attempting in vain to let go of the anger and resentment that had built up inside of her the past few days.

Research wasn't her first choice, but she was obligated to follow orders no matter how incredibly boring they were. Besides, this would give her the opportunity to clear her head and get a feel for what she was going to do next.

She was going to bring the First Order down one way or another, that much she was sure of. They were the spark that would light the way to a new order.

 _Yes_ , a pair of brown eyes appeared in front of her, followed by the dimming of noise around her,  _you can certainly try_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I apologize for the delay in publish chapter five, but things have gotten crazy around here. One of my best friends is getting married this week, we’ve been trying to help plan her baby shower, and on top of all that school is literally kicking my ass right now. I’ve barely had time to spend with the boyfriend, let alone get words down on paper. But alas! Here is chapter five.
> 
> I also just wanted to give a big shout out to two amazing people. Thank you to Paige and Caitlin for reading through this, betaing, and making suggestions and telling me when things outright suck. You guys are awesome!

The harsh blue light from the holo-pad in front of her caused Rey’s eyes to burn and tear from overuse. Unthinkingly, she rubbed them and her vision blurred momentarily. She groaned deeply as she waited for her tired eyes to adjust once more to the blinding light of the holo. She looked up at the bare room around her; she had taken up residence in the one of the small strategic planning rooms that had been abandoned on the former rebel base. It was cold, unthinking, and uninspired — much like her delegated quest for the dreadnought plans.

 

She lost track of the hours she spent pouring over the dated imperial schematics, hoping to find _anything_ of value to help the Resistance defeat the newly improved dreadnoughts. She had found the plans for new computer systems on unmanned vessels, rotations for newly trained Stormtrooper recruits, and deposits of credits into various accounts across the galaxy. But when it came to sifting through the endless file drives for the information she was looking for, she was having no such luck.

 

She drummed her fingers along the table as she absentmindedly skimmed through plans for an untraceable homing beacon. The technology piqued her interest slightly, but it had little to do with the schematics for the massive warships she was tasked to find. A small notepad, marked with the occasional file number and brief description, lay pitifully empty by her side — she had very little to show for the hours spent combing through the data. Leaning forward over the holo-pad, she let out a groan of frustration — she still had hundreds of files to look through on the first chip alone and she was hardly making any progress.

 

“This is useless,” she muttered despondently as she pushed the holo away from her with a heavy sigh.

 

_And Poe said they brought back crates of these,_ she thought glumly as another bitter notion slithered out from the crevice of her mind, _it_ is _all just work to keep me busy_. Her mind drifted from the task laid out before her, and instead she found herself thinking back to that final conversation she had with Poe.

 

She had grudgingly agreed to look over the plans out of a desire to be useful again, and to clear the undoubtedly tense air between the two of them. Part of her wished that things would return to the way that they had been before the mission. She longed for that small sense of normalcy within the Resistance, and with her partner for the last few years.

 

_You’re the last of the Jedi,_ a familiar voice from the back of her mind hissed, _you will never be normal._ She thought of her strange bond with Ben, and the inexplicable connection between them. It was so unlike the steady companionship that she had with Poe, and was definitive proof that she would never be normal.

 

A sense of acrimony washed over her. She let out another frustrated groan as she turned back to her task; the glow from the holo-pad was beginning to cause her head to ache mercilessly.

 

Gently, she rubbed her temples to alleviate the pain, but all attempts were in vain. Her head continued to throb the longer she looked at the schematics. Words and lines blurred seamlessly together on the datapad in front of her, and she found her concentration slipping even further. She buried her face in the palms of her hands, wondering if she should give up for the day.

 

“ _Tell me the location of my freighter,”_ a bored voice called from across the room — across the galaxy — and Rey startled slightly in her seat at the interruption. She immediately rose, leaning on the table in front of her for support, ready to confront the intruder where he stood.

 

She had the ability to sense someone’s presence as they neared her, and her abilities in the Force were constantly growing stronger. She often knew when Poe and Finn were approaching, sensing their distinct presence whenever they neared her. But that talent failed often when it came to the man in front of her, who always seemed to catch her off guard.

 

After all, she had not seen him since he appeared to her that final night on the _Stargazer_ ; she had begun to suspect he was intentionally blocking their inexplicable connection. At first, she was grateful for the lapse of frequent unwelcome visits from him. But now, as she looked at Ben, she could feel a lightness in her gut that she had not felt in days.

 

Rey swallowed — _where had that feeling come from?_

Rey’s eyes trailed up to meet the trespasser, but as her gaze fell on his bare torso, her cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink before she looked back down again. _Kriff_ , she bashfully thought to herself, _he’s shirtless again_.

 

The Force always seemed to bring them together at the worst possible times, as if it was playing a cruel trick on them both. _Just like two years ago,_ Rey thought, recalling the moment that he intruded on a private moment of mourning for her friend, Jessika. He had been dressed pretty much the same, and had caused a similar lump in her throat. But she had ignored him then, and he had enough sense to keep clear of her and let her be.

 

But now, regardless of his uncovered state, Ben did not shy away from her. If anything, he seemed more confident and sure of himself. She shuddered, wishing that the Force would stop bringing them together at moments like this. Despite herself, her gaze strayed upward, drinking in the sight before them. His charcoal trousers clung to his waist, hugging his exposed hi—

 

— _No._ Rey squashed the notion before it had even fully formed in her mind. What was coming over her? She could only hope that the heat spreading through her cheeks and the pink tint it carried along with it did not betray her surreptitious thoughts.

 

“ _Tell me the location of my freighter,”_ he repeated the demand, and Rey snapped back to the present, reminding herself that the man in front of her was supposed to be her enemy. His threat from the other day echoed in the back of her mind, and Rey hardened in her resolve. She would do whatever it took to bring down the First Order.

 

Suddenly aware of what was splayed out in front of her, she shifted her work around away from his field of vision, clumsily deactivating the holo-pad before remembering that he could not see her surroundings. She felt foolish for her hasty reaction, and the shade of pink in her cheeks deepened as he regarded her carefully. Even now, after all this time, it felt as he was searching the depths of her mind.

 

Perhaps, in a way, he was.

 

Now that she was aware of his presence, Rey could feel him so strongly through the Force. His presence was a strange comfort to her, as she remembered the conversations and mutual understanding that they shared. His presence was powerful, more potent than it had ever been before. And warmer too. Instead of the usual chill she felt whenever this connection manifested itself, Rey could feel a warmth that radiated through the link between the two of them.

 

Warmth — and _something else_.

 

An oddly familiar scent permeated through the bond, and the aromatic blend of herbs and warm bread flooded Rey’s nostrils. She recognized it almost immediately. It had been months since she last encountered it, but she would know that scent anywhere. If Rey closed her eyes, she would be able to picture it perfectly: relaxed laughter amid the chaos of the war, her and Poe sitting at a small table as Leia served them her own family’s recipe.

 

Realization hit her like a sandstorm, and she shook her head in disbelief, “Alderaanian flatbread?”

 

Ben’s eyes widened, “How did you–”

 

Rey inhaled the air once more to be sure, but she was certain that she was correct.

 

“The bond is getting stronger,” Ben answered his own unfinished question, his voice barely above a whisper. His dark eyes stared in disbelief, his full lips parted in both shock and awe.

 

_The bond is getting stronger._

 

Her mouth went bone dry as thousands of questions bombarded her mind like a fully charged laser canon. Getting stronger _how?_ She remembered how she had felt the smallest of tugs as Ben had reached for her across the galaxy, even then it had been strengthening. Would he be able to use his own abilities on her soon enough? What would that mean for her? For _them?_

Neither of them moved from their positions at opposite ends of the room, but only stared hard at one another. His dark chocolate eyes bore deep into hers, and Rey found herself getting lost in them again. _Stop kriffing doing that_ , she chastised herself, ashamed of her own weakness.

 

She could feel the weight of his gaze upon her as he finally spoke, “ _Something is troubling you. What is it?_ ”

 

Rey’s lips parted in surprised; she could not feel him attempting to probe into her mind like he had that evening so many years ago in the interrogation chamber. In fact, she couldn’t sense him trying to do anything to gain the upper hand. The corners of her lips devolved into a frown. Was she really so easy to read? She shifted uncomfortably where she stood.

 

“ _You think they don’t value you — you’re being pushed to the side.”_

She froze — how was he able to do that? Even though she knew their connection bound them in more ways than one, Rey fumed at the idea that he was able to read her so easily. Perhaps she had been overconfident in her abilities to mask her thoughts and feelings from the dark knight in front of her. Perhaps, they were kindred spirits in more ways than just one. The thought made shame boil in her core. She ground her teeth together, biting back a sharp response. Instead, she sighed, “Stop doing that.”

 

_“Doing what?”_

 

“Acting as if you know me,” She spart, “Or what I’m thinking.”

 

“ _Don’t I?”_ He took a deliberate step towards her, and her shoulders straightened involuntarily. He seemed to notice her discomfort, and he paused mid-stride. His features collapsed into a forlorn expression as he whispered, “ _I had thought we were past all this,”_

 

“Past what?” There was no masking the incredulity in her voice, “Do you want me to move past the fact that you are in command of the First Order?”

 

She heard a sharp intake of breath come from Ben.

 

_“I thought we were past your fear of me,”_

 

“I’m not afraid of you. I — I never was.” Even before the words left her lips, she knew that they were a lie; there had been a point in time when she had truly been afraid of the monster Kylo Ren. When she trembled at the thought of having to face him. But that had been before — before that night by the fire on Ahch-To, before he had saved her life on the _Supremacy_ , before she had truly known him.

 

But now, as she spoke to Ben Solo, there was no fear in her.

 

Doubt clouded his expression, but Ben did not say anything to counter her argument. Instead, he continued to his strong gait towards her. Determined to prove her point, Rey held firm in her stance. With each step closer, she only hardened in her resolve, and showed no emotion as he neared to her. He was only a half a pace away from her when he paused.

 

Rey’s eyes widened at the half-dressed man in front of her; he was so close that she could feel the warmth of his breath brush her cheek with each exhale. Rey inhaled quietly, hyper aware of the limited space between the two of them. She never thought that she would be this close to him again, not since she had left him on the _Supremacy_. If she had wanted to, Rey could have reached up and touched the soft skin of his cheek. As soon as the intrusive thought formed in her mind, a rush of color flooded her cheeks.

 

_Stop_ , she chided herself.

 

But Ben ignored her blush as his gaze fell down to her leg, still neatly wrapped up in bandages. _“How is your injury?”_

 

Rey blanched at the abrupt change of subject — and the elevated tone of the conversation. But she did not protest. She would much rather discuss her battered leg than the tender subject of her _feelings._ Lifting her shoulders into a gentle shrug, she assessed the trauma. “I have had worse.”

 

“ _As have I,”_ And with his words, Rey’s eyes flickered to the fine scar just across his eye as the memory of the night she gave it to him flooded back to her. It had faded immensely over the years, but remained a barely visible reminder of how the two of them had first come to blows. Even now, years later, she could easily recall how the two of them stood on Starkiller Base, lightsabers clashing violently in the snow.

 

She could remember how easy it had been to hate him then.

 

But now? Rey wasn’t so sure.

 

_“Come with me.”_ He offered once more, his voice just below a whisper.

 

“Ben, I—” She paused, uncertain of what she really wanted to say to the man in front of her. He had offered the same thing so many times, and her answer never changed. _And it never will,_ she told herself firmly.

 

But something — _something she couldn’t quite put her finger on_ — inside her tugged at his pleading tone. She studied his features: the hard expression that lit up as she spoke, the dark eyes that bore deep into hers, the small curve of his lips. Even now, she could smell the faint aroma of his mother’s traditional flatbread on his lips. This was Ben Solo — _Leia’s son_.

 

Instinctively — unthinkingly — Rey reached out towards him, her hand hovering just above his cheek.

 

His breath hitched at her movements and his eyes fluttered closed in perfect vulnerability. For a moment Rey did not see the violent leader of the First Order. She did not even see the general’s prodigal son. She saw someone else entirely. Flashes of sandy hair and pained expressions danced across her vision. A pang of familiarity hit her chest like a blaster beam as it all rushed back to her. How could she have forgotten? She dropped her hand, ignoring Ben’s pained look, as her train of thought suddenly shifted, “Tell me about Anakin Skywalker. Who was he?”

 

The silence that followed was impenetrable.

 

There was a palatable shift from his relaxed demeanor to once much more tense. His shoulders straightened noticeably, and he stepped back from her. She could feel the questions burning inside of him, even from her position halfway across the galaxy. Without peering into his mind, she could already see that he was curious as to why she was asking about this Anakin Skywalker — how she could even know about him.

 

Even now, she had no answer for his unasked questions. She had not come across the name until her vision, and was only reminded of it when Ben’s expression matched the one etched on Anakin’s. But her curiosity reached new heights as the gauged his reaction.

 

“ _How do you know that name?”_

 

Rey’s lips curved downward into a frown; the pressing tone that broke the silence was enough to set off an alarm in the back of Rey’s mind. She hadn’t known what to expect from his response, but she would never have guessed that he would be so insistent. Should she tell him about the vision she had?

 

_“How do you know that name?”_ He repeated, a sense of urgency ripe in his tone. He took a  step closer to her, closing the distance between them. They were now only inches apart and peering closely, she could see that he was softly shaking as he asked the question yet again.

 

“I — I don—” Rey flustered, raising her hands defensively above her chest. She racked her brain — what could she have possibly said to elicit such a strong reaction from him?

 

Her eyes glanced upwards, and she met his eyes for what felt like the first time in ages. But as her gaze met his, she could see the storm of confusion that raged underneath. She had seen that same storm so clearly in Anakin Skywalker.

 

“You just remind me of him,” She whispered breathlessly.

 

_“And what would make you say that?”_

_Everything._

Rey shifted her feet uneasily under Ben’s persistent gaze, not daring to utter her thoughts aloud. The heat from his insistent stare radiated from him and she could feel it so potently. But she could not give him what he wanted. How could she tell her supposed enemy about the strange vision that she had, when she herself had not yet figured out the meaning behind it?

 

No, she could not share that with him — _not yet_. Her shoulders collapsed as she exhaled deeply, and she shook her head in exasperation.

 

Her companion let out a sigh of frustration, much louder and resigned than her own. From the corner of her eye Rey could see his gloved hands balling into fists at his sides. But Rey did not flinch, did not cower before him. She would not give in so easily to his demands, and Ben knew that. Tilting his head to the side, his eyes glanced over at her before casting themselves to the floor, “ _Is this to be our lives from here on out?”_

Rey blinked.

 

_“Are we to be two people, always drawn together, but always at an impasse?”_

 

The question was left hanging in the air, filling the deepest crevices of the room and surrounding Rey and Ben completely. Rey opened her mouth to respond, but quickly shut it when she realized she could not reply.

 

It was a question neither of them had an answer to.

* * *

 

Rey murmured a quiet word of thanks as a protocol droid put a small tray of porridge in front of her. She sat up in the hospital bed, mindlessly stirring the unappetizing gruel. She was well enough to join the rest of the Resistance in the mess, but she opted to stay in the secluded medical bay as long as she was still able to. After all, she would rather not face the scrutiny and gossip surrounding her demotion.

 

She was thankful for the quiet as she drew small designs into the food placed in front of her. Her appetite had all but disappeared since her last encounter with Ben and instead was replaced with the feeling of knots twisting deep in her gut. When she closed her eyes, Rey could still see his face only inches in front of hers. She could still smell the haunting aroma of the Alderranian flatbread.

 

She groaned as she thought about how she had unthinkingly reached out to graze his cheek, and put her head in her hands. What had come over her? She had spent the major part of the last five years ignoring their bond, and now she found their connection was only growing stronger. And she wasn’t doing nearly enough to resist it.

 

The thought made her stomach turn into an unpleasant knot, and she pushed the untouched tray of porridge away from her.

 

Rey sighed as she looked around the now empty medical bay. A pang of loneliness hit her hard in the chest. She had not enjoyed the company of her friends for days now. Although her seclusion was entirely of her own making; the wounds from her demotion were still too raw. She did not want to face her friends, to hear about their missions and work that she had been so callously excluded from.

 

Instead, she was stuck completing _busy work._

Rey’s eyes flickered towards the block of cartridges on the small table next to the hospital bed, each containing several computer chips. Poe had instructed — no, _commanded_ — her to look through the imperial databases to find anything that would be useful to the Resistance. But he has also indicated that there was much more contained in the tiny cartridges: minutes from Senate hearings, notes from the old Republic.

 

Things that may not be useful for the Resistance, but Rey could not help the curiosity that was bubbling in her stomach. She grabbed a file drive and plugged it into the portable holo that lay next to her. Immediately, a grainy sound erupted from the device. Rey raised her brows; she had not been expecting the file to be an audio recording.

 

Grateful that she was alone in the med-bay, she sat back and listened to the gritty audio.

 

_From the Archives of Jedi Master Qui Gon Jinn_

_Recording Date: The Third Day of the Seventh Month, 35 BBY_

_Archive Date: The Fifth Day of the Seventh Month 35 BBY_

_After being assigned by the Council to locate Trade Federation outposts on the planet Tython, my padawan and I immediately set forth. Upon a smooth landing, we were accosted by indigenous flesh raiders who attempted to bring us back to their own villages. Although we were able to successfully fight them off, Obi-Wan and I found ourselves lost in the deep forest of the planet. If not for the help of the Twi’lek slaves we encountered, we would have not made it back to our ship and most certainly would have encountered the flesh raiders again._

_As they guided us back to our ship, the slaves begged us to help them escape the planet and bring them back to their home world of Ryloth. It was with a heavy heart that I explained that it is not the Council’s wish to interfere with the slave trade. They have said other Jedi have helped to bring refugees away from the planet before, although I cannot recall any records in the archives of this occurring. However, the mannerisms and appearances that the Twi’lek described do not resemble any Jedi known to myself or Obi-Wan. I have contacted the Council to relay the description of a group of Jedi cloaked in grey, and to seek their guidance on the matter._

Rey paused the grainy record with a shaking hand as she looked wide-eyed around the empty hospital room; she had not expected the records that Poe gave her to have recordings from the long forgotten Jedi Archives in them. Furthermore, she had not expected for her gut to wrench with disgust as she listened to the audio. Slavery — a brutal relic of an age long past. She had heard about it on Jakku; junk traders often nostalgic for the golden age of unpaid labor. But it had been outlawed in both the Empire and New Republic alike. Her stomach turned. Had the Jedi truly refused to interfere with the vile slave trade?

 

Rey sat back, mulling over what she had just heard. Her mind raced as she tried to picture the Jedi Council perfectly complacent in the injustices carried across the galaxy. She shook her head, refusing to believe that such powerful people would allow for something so heinous to continue. At least, the ones who were in power.

 

Who were these mysterious Jedi that helped when no one else would? The question burned deep inside of Rey. She looked to the next file on the holopad — would it contain the answers that she was looking for? She moved to open the next archive, and the grainy sound of the old recording started once more.

 

_The Trade Feder—_

“Rey!” A voice called out, breaking Rey from her razor sharp focus on the archive in front of her. She startle, and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest from the fright. She looked up to see Rose Tico hurrying towards her.

 

Rey’s shoulders fell from their tense position — she hadn’t realized she had been so wound up — as her friend approached. Quickly, she powered down the holo-pad before Rose could see what she had been looking at. After all, Rey had been tasked with studying imperial schematics that would have been useful to the Resistance, not the Jedi Archives. The young woman, however, did not seem to notice as she took the seat just next to Rey, “How is the research going?”

 

A pang of guilt hit Rey in the chest. But she bit her bottom lip and shrugged at her friend, “It could be going better. I haven’t found too much as of yet.”

 

“I’m sure you will,” Rose said encouragingly.

 

“I can’t help feel like this is a wild bantha chase,” Rey exhaled as she confessed. The words flowed out of her effortlessly, as if they were glad to finally be spoken aloud, “I want to be doing something more — something that will actually be useful to the rest of the Resistance.”

 

“It is useful,” Rose quipped, “Besides, you’re still injured. There wouldn’t be much you can do while you’re still walking around on crutches.”

 

Somehow, Rey did not think that the injury was the reason she had been tasked with the most mundane assignment. But she did not press the issue any further.

 

Rose, however, continued, “For what it’s worth, Gray Squadron misses having you in charge.”

 

Rey smiled sadly at the mention of her teammates, and she could not shake the feeling that she had let them all down when she was sidelined.

 

“Actually,” Rose smiled and a conspiratorial tone echoed in her voice, “I came here to ask you a favor.”

 

Rose took a seat on the front of the hospital bed, and Rey dipped her head closer so she could hear what her friend was whispering, “You’re the one who knows those Bespin freighter schematics like the back of your hand. Command would court martial me for doing this, but you’re probably the best one to help.”

 

Rey nodded as Rose dug out her own beat-up holo from the beige bag at her hip. With a swift click, the device powered on and a three-dimensional schematic illuminated the room. Rose looked down at the holo, and a blue glow from the projection enveloped her features.

 

Rey eyed the device, and she could easily make out the schematics of the freighter that she had studied so closely. It looked just as she had remembered, and was relatively simple in design. Her brow furrowed in confusion - what was she needed for?

 

“By all accounts,” Rose began, pointing to the starboard side of the holographic ship, “the computer logs for the ship should be stored here, in the mainframe.”

 

Rey nodded, following the captain’s explanation. In almost all standard freighters, transport logs and flight maps were stored in the mainframe. It would provide anyone who so much as glanced at the logs with a complete view of all past missions.

 

“I’ve been ordered to download the logs, so that we can determine any of the First Order’s other trade routes,” she continued, flicking her dark bangs from her field of vision, “If we have a successful blockade of any incoming ships-“

 

“We can cut off their supplies,” Rey nodded enthusiastically at the idea, “Starve them out.”

 

“But there is a problem. The mainframe isn’t _there._ ” Rose sighed. With a few gentle taps to the holo, the image of the ship changed. Compartments of the ship lit up in a vibrant red, drawing Rey’s attention to the highlighted portions. Looking perplexed at the featured compartments, Rose continued, “For some reason, things aren’t where they are _supposed_ to be. The schematics say that the systems of the ship should look like this—” Rose tapped the holo to reveal the classic design that she had seen and studied before, “—but instead it looks something like _this.”_

 

With the flick of her fingers, Rose revealed the actual systems in the ship and Rey inhaled sharply. The differences were subtle to the average eye, and for most people, it would not be a cause for concern at all. But as she glanced over the small modifications, Rey’s hairs stood on edge. Her mind went back to the battle over that very freighter; she had been lucky that everything had gone according to plan then.

 

“Cosmetically, everything is just as it should be. That explains why you were able to commandeer the vessel so easily.” Rose’s forehead creased as she brought up both schematics side by side. The difference between the two projections was startling, “But internally, the computer systems are - just not what we expected. It’s not just the mainframe, either. When we scanned for tracking or homing devices, we could not find anything.”

 

Chewing on her bottom lip, Rey considered what Rose was saying. Most freighters had a homing system to track cargo; once the freighter had landed on Naxos, the Resistance was to disable the system. If they weren’t able to locate the beacon, the whole planet was in danger.

 

“That’s good,” Rey countered optimistically, “If it doesn’t exist, then there is one less thing we need to worry about.”

 

Rose’s brow furrowed as she glanced once more at the upgraded schematics and a concerned expression graced her features. Rey sensed the uncertainty in her friend. “I’m not so sure. There are so many modifications, it’s possible our preliminary scans haven’t picked them up yet. Something just doesn’t _feel_ right.”

 

Rey nodded, “What do you need from me?”

 

“If we can physically locate the mainframe, and every other system on the ship, the sooner we can get our plan back in operation.You’re still the one who knows this ship better than anyone else,” Rose sighed, “I know you’ve been temporarily relieved of your post, but I was hoping you could come down to the airfield and look at the freighter systems first hand.”

 

Rey arched her brows at Rose’s offer; after all, she was sure Rose would get an earful from both Finn and Poe for disobeying direct orders. She looked at her own holo, strewn across the medical wing bed. Could she really resign herself to completing busy work? No, she couldn’t. Shaking her head, she grabbed her own holo from where she had quickly discarded it upon Rose’s entrance. Stuffing it quickly into her own satchel, she grabbed her crutches and followed Rose towards the airfield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know there was a lack of Reylo action in the chapter four, but I hope that this make up for it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I can’t thank you all enough for the response this has been getting. I love hearing from you guys, and the feedback that you have. And a special thank you to my amazing beta, shattered-quill, for actually helping me to turn this fic into something halfway decent. 
> 
> Anyway, I am so so sorry for the delay. I've been sick, and have felt even too lethargic to even post this, let alone write any more.

The hum of the machinery underneath Rey’s fingertips gave her a much needed sense of calm — one that she had not felt in days. She was glad to be out of her self-imposed exile in the med-bay, and poured herself into the task before her. She deftly worked over the machines, pulling apart the inside of computers and panels on the battered bridge of the ship, hoping that she would be able to determine just what had been altered with the freighter.

 

 _It feels good to actually be doing something again,_ Rey thought as she poured over the motherboard of the freighter’s central computer. She was hoping to find the location of the stored travel logs, or the elusive homing beacon that had not yet been recovered. Quickly maneuvering her hands around the keys, Rey entered the code for the most advanced system scan that she knew of, hoping that this would give her the answers that the Resistance was looking for. With a quick and final keystroke, the computer before her whirred back to life.

 

Her lips curled up in a smile as the hum of the ancient system grew louder, and she couldn’t help the rush of exhilaration that washed over her as she returned to work. This was what she needed, she thought, as the Jedi Archives and her vision from the other day faded into memory. This was where she was in her element, where she was the most confident. Rose, however, looked on nervously, her eyes occasionally sweeping the room for the presence of command that would surely reprimand her for involving a suspended officer.

 

After a few quick minutes, the scan beeped and Rey briefly eyed the results —nothing unusual, aside from the missing homing beacon turned up on the ship. She looked over to the anxious captain at her side, giving her a sad smile and a small shake of her head. They hadn’t found anything that they were looking for. Rose’s shoulders collapsed in defeat, but Rey’s eyes were glistening with the excitement of a new challenge.

 

She was determined to find them.

 

The old and beaten up freighter was buzzing with activity around them, as both computer technicians and mechanics struggled pick apart the ship. Rey, for her part, was silent. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes in an attempt to center herself. Rubbing her temples, Rey struggled to drown out the chaos of the airfield and focus instead on the task before her.

 

She poured all of her concentration, all of her willpower, on to the ship. All of the ambient noise, the distractions caused by unperturbed pilots and technicians, faded into nothing more than a gentle hum. All she could sense was the ship itself. She tried to recall any memories from her planning of the attack that would be useful to her. But every attempt only concluded with a surge of disappointment — she alone could not identify the problem.

 

Rose sighed, “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, Rey. We should just get you back to the infirmary.”

 

Her friend’s voice broke Rey’s concentration, and a swell of frustration rose inside her gut.

 

“No,” Rey snapped, far too quickly. Despite her most recent discovery of Old Republic records, she did not want to go back to her busy work of combing through old data files. That would have to wait until after she showed the Resistance — showed Poe — just what they were missing. Determined to prove herself once more, Rey found herself reaching out through the Force, hoping to sense any sort of disturbance with the ship.

 

“I’m just going to report back to Poe that I couldn’t find anything,” Rose continued, ignoring Rey’s insistence to the contrary. Rey could sense the smallest flicker of anxiety from the captain as she explained, “We’ve checked everywhere we could possibly think of. We’ll just strip her down for parts, starting with the engine access panel.”

 

“Engine access,” Rey repeated, under her breath. She repeated the words again, and it became a small mantra as the gears in her head began turning once more. With her eyes closed, she pictured the layout of the small freighter. It was long and tubular, rather than the circular shape of many other ships in its class. The peculiar shape gave the freighter two different access points to the engine: the port and the starboard points.

 

Rey’s eyes shot open as realization dawned on her, “Did you check the starboard engine access point?”

 

“Starboard engine access point?” Rose repeated, her eyes wide, “I hadn’t realized there would be more than one.”

 

Grabbing her crutch from its resting place, Rey lifted herself into a standing position, “It’s not usual for a freighter of this size. But because the ship is so abnormally shaped, there are two different access points here. If you were looking for the homing beacon, it may be there.”

 

“But wouldn’t our scanners have picked it up?”

 

Rey did not hear her friend’s question, as she had begun charging towards the starboard side of the ship on her crutches. Despite the chaos that surrounded them, all of the mechanics and engineers moved when they saw the small Jedi barreling towards them. Without murmuring a word of thanks, Rey continued bouncing towards her target, and did not stop to let Rose catch up as she hobbled along at full speed.

 

When she reached her destination, Rey’s lips curved upward in a small smile. The starboard access point was small, no bigger than many of the crawl spaces Rey had hidden in during her time scavenging on Jakku. Placing her crutched off to the side, she lifted the small latch. It gave way only slightly — the panel was been heavier than she expected.

 

With a small heave, Rey yanked the panel from the side wall of the ship and crouched down, ignoring the pain it caused her already injured leg. She chewed her bottom lip as she peered into the engine access panel on the freighter. At first glance, all she could make out was the jungle of wires and tubing that cascaded down from the narrow walls. But if she looked closer, deep in the darkened crawl space, she could see the rusted old engine.

 

As her eyes scanned across the access point, the steady blinking of —something, she did not quite know what — caught her attention. Her brow furrowed; from what she knew of this class of freighter, such a light did not belong there at all. She maneuvered herself to try and get a better look at the strange illumination, but before she could exclusively focus on it, her concentration was broken by an incensed voice behind her.

 

“What is going on here?”

 

Rey turned from the access vent, and whipped her head around to see Poe Dameron glaring pointedly at the nervous Rose.

 

“You disobeyed a direct order, Captain.”

 

Rose stammered out a weak reply, her hands up as she tried to stave off the now furious general. But the young woman stumbled over her words, buckling under pressure. Rey hesitated, wondering if she should intervene. It would only take a few more moments of distraction for her to slip unnoticed into the access port and find the source of the mysterious blinking. The entire ordeal would be over before Poe even realized where she was. But she watched as the color in Rose’s cheeks began to rise as Poe admonished her.

 

She had to intervene.

 

Standing up from her obscured crouch, she hobbled over to where Poe was fuming at his subordinate. After a few fleeting moments, he noticed her slow approach from where she had been hidden from view. He exhaled deeply as she approached him, his severe gaze only hardening with each rickety step that she took. Rey braced herself for the inevitable lecture from her commanding officer, but this voice was surprisingly soft as he spoke, “You know you aren’t supposed to be here.”

 

Rey blinked, staggered at the gentleness of his tone. Whatever she had been expecting from him, it wasn’t that. But taking one look at her friend, she only hardened in her resolve. “I know that you ordered me to stay away. But that is a mistake.”

 

Poe opened his mouth — no doubt to argue — but Rey would not allow him to finish.

 

“I’ve poured over those schematics for days preparing for my _successful_ mission,” she explained calmly, strength radiating through her voice. “There is no one who knows this ship better than me, and Rose knew it. You know it too. _That_ is why she asked me to break my orders and take a look at it, and it would be a colossal mistake to make me leave now.”

 

Poe’s mouth dropped slightly in surprise at her forwardness, but no protest came from his lips. No doubt he was mulling over the truth of her words.

 

“If you’ll excuse me,” Rey continued sharply, “I think that I’ve found something, and I would like to inspect t it.”

 

Poe’s deep chestnut eyes regarded her carefully, and she blushed under their intensity. He hadn’t looked at her that way in quite some time, and a pang of regret at the tension between the two of them erupted from deep inside of her. She would have to talk to him again, apologize for her harsh words and thoughts. But now was not the time. Turning from him so that she couldn’t be scrutinized with such passion any further, she hobbled once more to the starboard engine access panel.

 

Crouching down, Rey focused on the small yellow light towards the back of the port. From somewhere behind her, she could hear a male voice insist that someone else — someone uninjured — be the one to check out whatever was in the access port. But she paid no attention to the suggestion. Ignoring the small twinges of pain with each step, she began to crawl past the jungle of cascading wires and whirring pipes towards the steady blinking light.

 

When she finally reached the end of the port, she peered closely at the source of the stable flashing. It looked rather innocuous and was small enough that Rey could hold it in the palm of her hand. Carefully, she detangled the device from the surrounding wires and raised her brows when she saw that it was not attached to anything.

 

 _How odd,_ she thought as she turned the device over a few times. It was rectangular and black, with no other modifications other than the single blinking light that radiated from the tip. Rey had never seen anything like it before in all of her years as a scavenger. With the inoffensive device in hand, she began to crawl back to where everyone else was waiting for her.

 

As she gently stood upright, she held out her hand to reveal the small trinket to all of the others who looked on. Poe gently picked it from her hand, examining it closely.

 

“What is it?” Rose whispered, peering at it.

 

“I don’t know,” Rey responded breathlessly as Poe turned it over in his palm once more.

 

“Ensign Cato,” Poe called as he continued to eye the device, and a young eager officer appeared at his side, “Take this down to engineering. I want them to pick it apart and determine what it is.”

 

The young ensign nodded enthusiastically at the order, taking the small gadget in his hand before turning on his heel. Rey turned on her crutches, ready to follow with Rose and the others. Her curiosity rose with each passing minute, but a gentle hand on her arm gave her pause as the others exited.

 

“Rey,” Poe’s voice was soft and tentative as she turned around to face him, “you and Rose were right. You were — _are_ — the best person to handle this. You proved that when you saved the mission.”

 

Rey’s mouth hung open as she listened to his words, at a loss for what she herself should say.

 

Poe, however, seemed to grow more confident as he spoke. His hand slid gently from her arm, until it was just over her hand, and he grasped it. “I was wrong to remove you from your post, and I’m sorry.”

 

“Are you saying what I think you are?” Rey gaped at him.

 

Poe nodded, his lips curving upward. “As soon as your injury is healed, you will be fully reinstated.”

 

Rey’s smiled matched his, and she couldn’t help herself as she dropped her crutches to the floor with a loud _clang_ and threw her arms around him. He tightened his own arms around her into a deep hug and pulled her close. It was a nice feeling, being held once more. Due to the time and circumstances that had kept them apart, Rey had not realized that she even missed this particular part of her relationship with Poe. She had been too busy being angry that she had not had time to miss him.

 

After a few fleeting moments of peace, she detangled herself from Poe’s grasp. His own smile became sheepish as he gallantly picked up her crutches from where she discarded them on the floor. Rey accepted them gratefully, and they both turned in the direction of engineering.

 

“Have you had any luck so far on the data files you were combing through?” Poe turned to look at her, the tips of his fingers gently grazing her arm.

 

Rey shook her head, ignoring the small caress as best she could. Lifting her shoulders up into a gentle shrug, she said, “There hasn’t been much so far — unless you count Stormtrooper rotation from forty years ago and upgrades to homing beacons.”

 

At her informal report, Poe’s face collapsed in resignation. “I had hoped that there would be something — _anything_ — of use on those files. When you’re back in the field, I’ll have Cato continue to look through them.”

 

Suddenly, Rey’s own pack at her side seemed heavier than before. The weight of the hidden data files from the Jedi Archives only compounded with each step; she wondered what Poe would think about her taking them. Would he understand her desire to keep them? Would anyone at the Resistance — most of who had grown up thinking of the Jedi as only a myth — appreciate that she wanted to find out more about the mysterious Jedi mentioned in the old archives? Rey swallowed a lump that she had not realized formed in the back of her throat; she had not thought that they would.

 

Instead of a reply, Rey only offered Poe the smallest of smiles. He returned the expression, walking contentedly beside her as she hobbled on her crutches. She relished the return to normalcy and would do what she could to maintain it.

* * *

 

_From the Archives of Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn_

_Recording Date: The Seventh Day of the Eleventh Month, 35 BBY_

_Archive Date: The Ninth Day of the Eleventh Month 35 BBY_

 

 _After careful deliberation with Master Yoda, I have taken a brief leave to investigate the Twi’lek claims of strange Jedi. Having returned to Tython, I spoke with many of the elder slaves_ — Rey cringed at the casual reference to the barbaric trade — _and found only a few who had personal encounters with any of them. One woman spoke of a pair of Jedi knights in flowing gray robes and strange dialects. She said they were working to free individual slaves and bring them to safety, and end the trade on Tython once and for all._

_I asked where the knights brought the chosen few after their rescue, but it seems as if they do not know themselves. They said Byss, Constancia, and Vulpter’s, among other systems further away. I’m not sure of the accuracy of their information, but Vulpter is only a day’s travel at lightspeed and I have some contacts on the planet itself. I am hoping that with some more digging, I will be able to get to the bottom of this mystery._

At the end of the grainy sounding recording, Rey exhaled slowly. She had been enraptured by the Jedi Master’s archive, making the most of her last night in the med-bay. Her injury would be cleared tomorrow and she would be fully reinstated back to her post as second lieutenant. She was bubbling with excitement to get back to the grind, but her restlessness had been mitigated somewhat by the old Jedi Archives. What had become of the Twi’lek slaves on Tython? Had the mysterious Jedi ever come back to break their chains? Had Qui Gon Jinn ever found what he was looking for?

 

Rey fumbled around with the satchel at her side, trying to pick up the next file in the archive. Her fingers delicately clasped around the small chip, and she was about to insert it into the holo when she felt it. At first it was a small twinge, a ripple in the surrounding atmosphere. If anyone else could feel it, she doubted they would even be concerned. But the shift, for her, was palatable. _And familiar._

At least she was recognizing the signs. The thought gave her some comfort as she braced herself for the impending intrusion on her privacy. Small ripples morphed into monumental waves as Ben’s presence made itself known to her.

 

“I’m not going to tell you the location of the damn freighter,” Rey sighed in resignation, answering the question he had asked numerous times before he had the opportunity to ask again. She was truly growing tired of the endless tête-à-tête between the two of them.

 

“ _You seem to be in a better mood,_ ” he countered, ignoring her pointed greeting. Her eyes flickered over to him, standing in the corner of the otherwise empty med-bay. He was clothed in a tunic the color of soot, and it clung nicely to his form.

 

Rey blinked; despite having seen him in more a much more vulnerable state, she was not prepared to see him dressed so casually. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, causing the holo to fall from where it was casually laying on her lap. Rey reached out, catching the device before it could crash on the hard floor.

 

The movement was not lost on Ben, whose brow furrowed in interest. “ _What were you doing?_ ”

 

His voice was calm and inquisitive, and there was an absence of any malice or duplicity. Rey blinked — were they really having a normal conversation? Did she even know how to have one with the young man before her? The desire to keep up the game of willful deception vanished from her; she was far too tired to keep up the charade.

 

She sucked in a deep breath. “I was doing some research.”

 

“ _Research_?” His brows raised and he took a step closer to her.

 

“On the past,” she explained, the words pouring out of her with a shocking ease, “of the Jedi — before the Empire.”

 

Her words, while not a complete lie, were not the whole truth. But her response seemed to intrigue Ben, who took a step closer to her as she explained. His movements were cautious , his eyes asking an unspoken question. When Rey did not protest, in a single timid motion, Ben took a seat next to her.

 

He raised his eyes towards her, silently imploring her to tell him more.

 

“The Jedi Council, in the days of the Republic, were not who I thought they were,” Rey closed her eyes, thinking of the sandy haired slave boy she had seen in her vision and the casual references to the barbaric practices that littered the old archives.

 

“ _You are disappointed in them,_ ” his voice was barely audible, but the empathetic look in his eyes as he gazed deep into hers was telling enough. “ _They are not who you thought they were_.”

 

Rey supposed that her rival knew that particular feeling all too well, and a small sense of comfort radiated between the two of them. It was slightly ironic, she thought, that they would share a mutual disappointment in the callousness of the Jedi. But as she gazed over at Ben, the man who she was destined to be at odds with for the rest of her life, she wondered if there would be any common ground large enough to bridge the ever widening gap between them.

 

Rey waited, expectantly, for the inevitable invitation to join him. After all, she had just admitted her disenchantment with the methods of the Jedi.

 

But what Ben Solo said next caught her off guard. He looked at her, the knowing and empathetic look returning to his gaze. “ _When we put too much of our trust in one person or organization, we almost always end up disappointed_.”

 

Rey blinked, and could not help the slight fall of her mouth. _What was Ben — Supreme Leader of the First Order — saying?_ She had to wonder if it was really the Jedi that he was referring to. Rey began to speak, to question the meaning behind his words, but her own mind seemed to fail her in the moment.

 

It was silent for a long moment, before she finally found the courage to speak. “Ben, I-”

 

“ _Your faith in the Jedi Order is naive_ ,” he continued, confidence returning to his voice. “ _The Jedi have been glorified for too long, being seen as saviors when they were just as corrupt and as complacent as anyone else in the galaxy._ ”

 

Rey opened her mouth to argue, to defend the Jedi and the light side of the Force, but quickly snapped it shut. He was not wrong — after all, she had thought very much the same when she first heard Master Qui-Gon Jinn’s archive records. Instead, she took a deep breath, and felt every muscle in her body contract in anticipation of what she was about to say. “Perhaps you are right, Ben. But the same can be said of the Empire — and of the First Order. Snoke was not who you thought he was either.”

 

“ _Snoke is gone,_ ” he countered, “ _and I am the Supreme Leader now._ ”

 

“And is it everything you thought it would be?” Rey inquired, her eyebrows raised gently, “Is your faith in the First Order still as strong?”

 

Rey could see the pronounced movement of Ben’s Adam’s apple as he swallowed hard. His gaze met hers, and for the first time in over five years, Rey could sense the war that was raging inside him. Even now, after all of the years and false confidence, he was still torn. Rey reached out, grasping his hand in hers.

 

His eyes widened under her touch, and the conflict in him dissolved into complete surprise. Rey blinked, startled by her own boldness. When she left Jakku all those years ago, she never imagined that she would be comforting the man who had once haunted her dreams. But her steady hand remained on his as she implored, “You aren’t the monster that Snoke made you think you were.”

 

“Are you talking to someone?” A voice from the opposite side of the room called out, distracting Rey from the intimate conversation. Taking a cue from Rey’s startled expression, Ben looked in the same direction, although Rey did not know exactly how much he could see of her surroundings.

 

Rey dropped Ben’s hand, her cheeks turning a deep shade of pink when she turned her attention towards the intruder. Poe looked at her quizzically from across the room as he leaned casually against the threshold. He crossed his arms as he waited expectantly for her response.

 

Rey shook her head, trying her best to forget the presence next to her, and she choked out an insincere laugh, “I wasn’t talking to anyone.”

 

She could feel Ben’s presence bristle beside her.

 

“You weren’t? I could have sworn-”

 

“I wa-I was just thinking out loud,” Rey countered far too quickly, fumbling over her words in the process. “Talking to myself, if you will.”

 

She could have sworn she saw, from the corner of her eye, Ben’s eyes roll upwards. But she ignored it, instead choosing to focus on the man physically present in the med-bay with her. She knew immediately that Poe did not quite believe her hollow explanation. But he had no other explanation to what she was doing. Aside from Luke Skywalker, not another soul — not even Leia — had known about the strange link that tethered her and the Supreme Leader of the First Order together.

 

And she had done everything in her power to keep it that way.

 

“It’s a Jedi thing,” Rey shrugged, hoping her little white lie would spare her from further interrogation. “It helps with meditation and focusing inward instead of our surroundings.”

 

A groan escaped Ben’s lips and he buried his face in his hands. Rey resisted the urge to roll her eyes and make a sarcastic comeback at her rival. Instead, she focused on Poe. He shook his head, seeming to accept her simple answer. Or, if he did not, he made the decision not to press the issue any further.

 

He crossed the room over to her, and Rey’s gaze followed him as he took a seat on the bed opposite her. Poe reached out, taking her hand in his — the hand that had just been comforting Ben. He gave it a reassuring squeeze, and Rey returned it with a half-hearted smile. How much of this exchange could Ben see? What was he thinking right now?

 

Why was she so preoccupied with what he thought?

 

Rey ignored all of the questions buzzing around in her head, refusing to worry about her supposed enemy.

 

“What brings you here?” Rey inquired, “I figured you’d be busy.” She was careful not to say too much, and could only hope that Poe would do the same.

 

Poe laughed, “I can’t come visit? I figured after everything—”

 

“Of course you’re welcome to come visit,” Rey interrupted, the words pouring out without any consideration of the interloper in the room. She immediately regretted them; she had said far too much. But she could see the pinched expression on Ben’s face as the nature of the conversation finally dawned on him. The gloved hand that Rey had been holding curled up into fist. He wanted to leave, to end the communication between them — but neither of them knew how to do that.

 

“I also wanted to bring this to you,” Poe dropped her hands, oblivious to the tension in the room. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small portable holo. With the flick of a button, the screen illuminated. “I gave the orders to release you from the med-bay early. There is an officer’s room waiting for you in sector 9.”

 

Rey smiled, muttering a small word of thanks. Poe’s elated expression matched hers, and he brought his lips down to hers in a small, gentle kiss before whispering, “Welcome back, Lieutenant.”

 

Rey’s contented expression never faltered, but she couldn’t mask the color rising in her cheeks as she saw Ben’s grimace from the corner of her eye.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright ladies and gentlemen! I apologize for the wait, things got really busy at work, and I’ve been battling a severe case of writer’s block. I had written and rewritten the ending to this chapter at least four different times, and it ended up going in a different direction each time. But I’m finally pleased (as I can be) with the outcome. 
> 
> I’m dedicating this chapter to my amazing beta, shattered-quill, who has been awesome and completely amazing this whole time. She’s taking a break from beta-ing right now, so as you can see this work is complete shite without her. Seriously though, thank you!

The sun on Naxos shone a little brighter that morning — Rey’s first morning of absolute freedom on the planet. The medics deemed her “healed enough” to finally be given clearance for light duty, and she finally felt like a member of a team once again. Everything was finally starting to return to normal within the Resistance and its leadership —as normal as it could.

Having been reassigned out of the med-bay the evening prior, Poe had chivalrously walked her to her newly assigned apartment and kept her company for the remainder of the night —despite the fact that the Force had already provided her with company. Inwardly, Rey cringed at the awkwardness of the evening. She made a mental note that she would have to speak to Ben, to try and explain. Just why she felt compelled to explain anything to her supposed foe, Rey did not know, but she pushed the uncomfortable thoughts aside. In fact, she did everything she could to forget the fact that the Force connected her and Ben for most of the night.

Instead, she focused on her first morning out of confinement.

The spacious apartments were indeed sparse — much like her chambers aboard the _Stargazer_. But the bare atmosphere did not trouble her, as she knew the Resistance would be moving on soon enough —she knew better than to grow too attached to a particular planet or star system.

But there was one amenity in the otherwise spartan room that Rey was ecstatic to have. Much to her delight, her apartment contained a small window that could be opened and closed manually. On her very first morning waking up next to Poe in her new accommodations, Rey opened the window to welcome in the fresh — _albeit humid_ — air.

The fresh air, combined with her newly reinstated position, was enough to bring a smile to Rey’s face. Her mood soared as she readied herself for the day, tying her hair back into a small bun with tendrils falling loose at the nape of her neck. As she hopped into the washing area to clean her teeth, her eyes scanned her holo, which was projecting a schedule of duties and conferences. There was plenty to keep her mind preoccupied. She had meetings with admirals and war strategists, a debrief to transfer all of the archived data files to Ensign Cato, and —she could not suppress the chuckle — a manual entry that read _dinner with Poe_ overridden by the general himself.

She would be busy today, the thought crept into her mind and caused her lips to turn upward into a satisfied smile.

Her lighthearted feeling continued as she made her way down to her first assignment of the day —the engineering rooms. She arrived to a flurry of activity, as mechanics and engineers alike buzzed around the small work stations. Some of them were pulling apart what was left of the now dismantled freighter’s engine system, having been given the clearance after her final sweep of the ship. Others were busying themselves with the massive amount of prothium that had been commandeered, using it to arm newly refurbished weapons. It was a long and drawn out process, that should have begun days ago. But starting it now was better than never getting to use the stolen prothium.

A small smile escaped Rey’s lips as she watched the scene before her; it seemed that the Resistance was finally starting to come into some good luck for a change.  

Her attention was soon diverted, however, when her eyes found the real reason she had been assigned to debrief with engineering. The small black device, no bigger than the length of her thumb, sat in the middle of a crowded work station.

Rose Tico, clad in her usual mechanics jumpsuit, stood over the gadget with a magnifying light in one hand, and a miniature fusion cutter in the other. She stared hard at the small object in front of her, chewing her lip thoughtfully Poe stood over the captain, also intently studying the puzzling piece of technology. He was muttering something to himself, but Rey could near hear him over the chaos that was the engineering bay. The device, however tiny and inconsequential, continued to confuse them. It continued its rhythmic blinking, never once betraying the steady pattern that Rey first noticed the day before.

“Do you have any ideas as to what it could be?” Rey inquired as she carefully approached the duo. With the dangerous cutting tool in the jumpy captain’s hand, Rey did not want to make any sudden movements. She could only imagine the outcome, and it was not pretty.

 “Not in the slightest,” Rose murmured as she prodded the device delicately with her tool. Her shoulders collapsed in defeat when nothing happened; Rey’s brow furrowed as she watched on with curiosity. What was Rose trying to do?

 “Looks like we’re going to have to cut it open,” Poe conceded, although the wary tone in his voice suggested that he would rather not. Rey could not say she blamed him for his reluctance —if it was damage in any way, the pilfered technology would be useless to the Resistance. Rose nodded and ignited the small fusion cutter in her hand. Even from her position a safe distance away, Rey could hear the distinct hum of the small tool as it buzzed.

The experienced mechanic brought the fusion cutter down gently to the top of the mysterious device, and with a single, careful movement began the cutting process.

Rey had seen fusion cutters at work before; they were used often at the scrap yards on Jakku to extract precious materials and pierce even the toughest of metals with ease. She had seen one slice a plate said to be made of an indestructible alloy into precise quarters. She had even heard it could even deftly carve the ur-diamonds of Nothoiin. 

And yet, as Rose brought the tool down to the inconspicuous device — as surrounding spectators waited on baited breath — nothing happened. The tool still hummed, and yet when it came into contact with its intended target, no incision was made. Rey’s mouth dropped into a startled gape, and Rose’s brow furrowed as she muttered incoherently under her breath. She brought the fusion cutter down in a second attempt, but the result was the same.

Whatever it was, it could not be cut open.

“What’s that?” Rey peered closer at the confusing object as Rose set down the fusion cutter. The steady yellow blinking that had characterized the strange device became much more erratic. It was blinking faster now, in a pattern that was sickeningly familiar. Her eyes went wide and a knot formed in her core as Poe picked it up to get a closer look.

“The blinking—” he mused quietly before widening his eyes, “—it looks like a transmitter.”

“That’s impossible.” Rose countered with a shake of her head, “We scanned for any trackers or homing devices and the ship turned up empty.”

Rey’s throat went dry, as Rose’s insistence sunk in and realization dawned on her. She quickly snatched the tiny object from Poe, searching for any indication that her gut instinct was correct. The nervous churning inside of her stomach prayed that she was wrong. But her feelings — her peremptory instinct — told Rey that her first guess was spot-on, and she could feel her stomach drop. Poe looked at her quizzically as Rose continued, “Our scans were extensive —we would have picked it up.”

“No,” Rey breathed, “we wouldn’t have.”

Poe’s head snapped in Rey’s direction, “What do you mean?”      

Rey inhaled, still silently praying that she was incorrect in her assumptions, and her explanation was unnecessary, “The First Order has been experimenting with old imperial technology. One thing that I found when scouring those old data files for dreadnought schematics were the plans for an undetectable homing beacon.”

“A what?” Rose’s eye widened at Rey’s implication but the captain shook her head, “That’s impossible!”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Poe demanded as he grabbed the small device back from Rey and hurled it at the wall. It landed on the ground with a small crash, but remained undamaged and the erratic blinking only continued. The rest of the engineering bay all turned their surprised gazes to the trio of officers, and Rey straightened under their scrutiny.

She bit her lip as her eyes turned back to the frustrated general, “I was looking for updated dreadnought plans. I didn’t think anything else was that significant.” She swallowed back the rest of her explanation, refusing to mention that she had been distracted by Ben while she was combing through those particular plans.

She would take that last bit of information with her to her grave.

“I would say that’s still important,” Poe mumbled low enough that Rey knew she was not supposed to hear. She did anyway, due to her heightened abilities, but she bit her tongue. After all, despite his frustrations, he was correct. This was not the time to defend her wounded pride.

“ _If_ this is a transmitter,” Rey swallowed the dry lump in her throat, still holding on to hope that she was wrong, “what are we going to do?”

Rose and Rey both looked to their general for the answer, but his gaze remained fixated on the rapidly blinking device that lay across the engineering room. He was silent for a moment, his hands raking through his dark hair in a fit of nervous contemplation. After a few long moments, he finally spoke, “We haven’t had time to refine the prothium from Bespin yet, which means we haven’t had the time to make the weaponry we planned, which—”

Which meant that the Resistance had no way to defend themselves from an incoming attack.

Poe paused, giving his head a small shake of disbelief — of defeat, “We’ll have to retreat.”

* * *

 

Since Rey had, even informally, joined the Resistance, her life had become a series of hurried retreats and daring escapes. She felt as though, from the moment she saved BB-8 from the Teedo over five years ago, she had never truly stopped running. And her habit of retreat only increased a she became the last of the Jedi and leading officer within the Resistance.

And so, strangely, the chaos that followed Poe’s command of retreat came somewhat as a comfort to Rey. Despite the happiness and peace she felt in the morning as she soaked in the warm fresh air, this was what she knew — this was her reality now.

It was not longer after Poe made the decision that a small chirp sounded on his intercom. The trio looked at the small communication device, holding their breath for any sort of information. Rey closed her eyes, silently praying that the news would be good. But she had no such luck — a panicked Finn relayed the news of the approaching First Order ships. A solemn look passed between the three officers and not long after a loud alarm thundered through the halls of the base. Poe looked to Rey, and then Rose, an unspoken command radiating through his eyes. Retreat had become habit to them now; they all knew what to do.

Without another word, Poe charged towards the hanger bay, no doubt ready to hop into a fighter and meet the First Order head on. It was always his course of action, leading the charge from the front lines of battle. Rey watched, feet rooted to the ground, as he sped away from the engineering bay and out of sight. Should she have gone to him — reminded him to be safe and return in one piece? He would have done so if it had been her rushing off into a fight. But before Rey could even think, Poe was gone.

Rose gathered the engineers, who were scrambling for their tools and projects to salvage whatever they could from the impending attack. For a small woman, the young captain had a thundering voice and the worried technicians all looked at her in awe as she barked orders for an evacuation. It was easy to see why, when the time came, she was able to lead the gaggle of weedy engineers to the evacuation shuttles.  

As for Rey, her mind was spinning. How could she not have realized sooner that this would happen? How could she not have sensed that, through her hours of conversations with Ben that this was the plan all along? She thought the bond was getting stronger —she was able to sense so much — but when it really counted, she had been blind. She swallowed; she had been too busy — too preoccupied by the thought of the Jedi Archives to fully pay attention to what was right in front of her mind.

The archives.

Without thinking, Rey turned on her heels and began sprinting in the direction in which she came. It was Resistance protocol to — during an evacuation — leave behind anything that was deemed nonessential. Would anyone else consider the archives essential now? If Finn or Rose or Poe had found out she went back for something so inconsequential— she didn’t want to think about the lectures she would get.

Rey stumbled through the now anxious throngs of pilots, officers, and technicians. Alarms were sounding in a panicked chorus over the entire base, only adding fuel to the chaos. But despite the bedlam around her, Rey continued weaving between evacuating hordes. She cursed under her breath; while her cast may have been taken off the previous night, there was still a sharp pain in her leg at any form of exertion. She could only run as fast as her still injured leg would carry her — not fast enough.

Rey earned curious look from the stampede of people she crossed paths with. She was going in the opposite direction of the escape pods. But she paid the confused pilots no mind — it was far too important for her to get those archives. She shouldn’t, the rational part of her mind scolded. After all, they had proven to be fairly useless at interpreting dreadnought plans.

But she could not help the unmistakable pull she felt towards the story she found amongst the old Republic archives. For some unexplained reason, Qui Gon Jinn’s journey called to her, and she was compelled to protect it. It hadn’t been a coincidence that she found it —she had stopped believing in coincidences on Jakku. Perhaps it had come into her hands to guide her — to help her find her place in the world of the Jedi.

To make sense of it all.

Her feet pounded the floor with alarming speed as she finally reached the corridor to her rooms. Panting like a wild bassa hound, Rey punched in the access code and the automatic door slid open. She barged into the rooms, immediately diving for the spot under her mattress where the old Jedi files had been safely stored away. She gathered them in her hand, and shoved them into the utility pack at her waist.

Rey’s shoulders collapsed; the archives were safe. She could now focus on getting the hell out of there.

She turned on her heel to sprint as fast as she could to meet up with the other pilots and resistance fighters. But as she made her way from the bedding area to the front entryway a thunderous boom rattled the entire base at its core, and sent an unsteady Rey flying hard to the floor. She hit the ground hard, the wind momentarily knocked out of her. The First Order had arrived, and they were making sure that everyone knew it.

The onslaught had begun.

Scrambling to her feet, Rey stumbled to the access door and slammed the opening button with her entire palm. It gave way slightly before another thunderous bomb devastated the base. It had to have struck very close by, as the explosion reverberated through the walls of her room. Dust and debris from the ceiling above rained down, and Rey covered her head with her forearms for meager protection.

Rey looked to the door, desperate to escape before the entire room came crashing down upon her. But the door remained frozen in place, only open a fingers’ width before the explosion triggered the automatic locking mechanism.

“You have got to be kriffing kidding me,” Rey cursed under her breath. She was trapped.

She could not have thought things could get any worse, but another shell detonated nearby and the ceiling started to crumble once more. She had to find a way out.

Lacing her fingers through the small crevice in the door, Rey began to pry one of the sliding mechanisms with all of her might until her knuckles were white. She cried out slightly with the amount of force used to move the door. The ingress gave way slightly, but not enough for her to squeeze through.

Rey let out a huff of exasperation, as she shook her hands to give them some reprieve. But the wailing of the alarms had not died down, and the First Order’s assault on the base was still going on. She did not have any time for relief — she had to act. She was not physically strong enough to pry open the doors on her own.

But she had other means to escape.

Using all of her energy in the Force, Rey concentrated solely on the door. She imagined it opening before her with ease. In reality, the door struggled to come undone. It started opening shakily, as if every mechanism was fighting her abilities. But as her eyes narrowed on the small crevice in the door, she could feel the Force working through her.

She released her focus when the frames gave way enough that she was able to snake through the small gap with her rucksack. And she escaped not a moment too soon; as soon as she freed herself, another blast sent a thundering quake through the base and the ceiling of her room began to cave in around her. Rey turned on her heels, sprinting as fast as she could away from the epicenter before the entire hall collapsed around her.

Her legs carried her — despite the excruciating pain from over exertion — from the private apartments to the hanger bay. She could see the chaos around her; many of the escape pods had been grounded by the First Order’s attack. Chewbacca was shepherding the last of the survivors through the graveyard of ships into the _Millennium Falcon_ , which had remained blessedly unscathed in the assault.

Rey charged towards the _Falcon_ and the Wookiee, but her adrenaline was finally succumbing to the overbearing pain from her still injured leg. Her run turned into a steady hobble, as rubble exploded and collapsed around her. Chewbacca roared at her to hurry up, and she tried to focus on anything else but the pain.

It was then that she felt it — an all too familiar, but simultaneously foreign shift in the atmosphere of Naxos. It had always been overbearing and humid, but now the air seemed to constrict in her lungs and it was difficult for her to breath. It was not the time for the Force to play a cruel joke and connect her and Ben. But after several feeble attempts at trying to block out the connection between the two of them, Rey paused.

The Force wasn’t joining the two of them from across the galaxy.

She could feel him so potently because he was here.

Ben Solo was on Naxos.

A new burst of adrenaline coursed through Rey’s bloodstream and her feet carried her faster than they ever had before — injury be damned. Mixed with the fiery adrenaline was something else entirely — shame. Rey had never been one to cower away from a fight; she always met her challenges head on. She could face him, yes. Her abilities had only grown since they last met, and she had every that if push came to shove she would be able to triumph against him.

But there was a part of her that just did not want to.

She thought of the last time she saw Ben — a confused and uncomfortable expression etched onto his fine features. With Poe in the room with her, she couldn’t explain that no one else in the Resistance knew of their strange connection. She couldn’t do anything to ease the tension, and so she just let it fester until finally Ben was gone. But now — so soon after that — she did not want to face him like this.

Not in a battle.

And so she continued to run as Chewbacca shepherded the last of the stragglers on board. She was so close, she could smell the weathered interior of the _Falcon_ as the life support systems of the ship kicked on. Chewie’s eyes briefly met hers as she hobbled towards him —silently pleading with her to run faster, and then flicked to something behind her. Rey told herself she would not look, but the subsequent thunderous roar from the Wookiee drew her attention to whatever was behind her.

“Kriff,” She mumbled as her eyes raked over the six TIE fighters hovering over the collapsed roof of the hanger bay. Half of the ships had their cannons fixed on the _Falcon_ , while the others were drawn solely on her. Rey swallowed — it would be impossible for Chewbacca to escape with the rest of the survivors and save her as well.

As if on cue, the enemy ships fired on stragglers as they made their way across the dilapidated hanger bay. Shot after shot rained down on the unarmed escapees, and Rey could only gape as they weaved through the scraps of their fallen fleet, carrying as many injured as they could. She let out a breath of relief as they miraculously boarded the Falcon, relatively unscathed from the onslaught from above. Rey made her way to follow the rest of the stragglers, knowing that if they could make it then she certainly could as well. But the moment she moved towards the _Millennium Falcon_ , one of the ships hovering above fired.

The single plasma cannon missed her, striking the ground near a few feet to her left. Rey paused in her tracks; she had been an easy target, slow moving because of her still healing injury. With half of the TIEs focused solely on her, she was as good as dead and if Chewbacca waited for her, there was no way that the _Falcon_ would make it off of Naxos in one piece.

She knew what she needed to do. Turning toward her faithful companion once more, she nodded her head only slightly. But it was enough of a signal for him; the Wookiee let out a despondent cry but did nothing to argue as he closed the doors to the _Millennium Falcon._ He had to know that it was for the best. Rey turned as the _Millennium Falcon_ began its ascent.

To steer the pilot’s eyes off of the escaping ship, Rey grabbed her saberstaff from the spot on her hip and ignited the twin blades. It appeared to be enough, as the _Falcon_ passed through the hanger without any incident.                                                                                            

Rey swallowed; it was almost too easy.

But as her beloved ship passed over the tree line to join the rest of the rebels in their escape, Rey could see another ship begin its approach. Her breath hitched at the familiar silhouette, and she cursed under her breath. She recognized the twin wings of the TIE silencer — she had really hoped that she would not see it again.

The silhouette of the shuttle shifted as it began its landing sequence. Saber still in hand, Rey’s mouth fell open — what was he doing here? She was only one person; if he wanted to kill her, it would be much easier to have the pilots above shoot her on the spot.

Did he still want to kill her?

Rey held firm in her stance as the cockpit access hatch detached from the body of the ship and a dark haired Ben Solo — _Kylo Ren?_ She was unsure of what to address him as now that they stood toe to toe rather than through the safety of their bond — emerged. She swallowed as he deftly pulled himself over the wings of the large silencer and began his stride towards her.

Despite herself, Rey’s heart began to pound in her chest, but why she reacted so strongly, she did not know. Could it be that she was frightened? No, she had faced him time and again and came out unscathed. Perhaps she was anxious, given the intimacy of their bond. Maybe, in some small and inconsequential way, she was excited to finally see him again. Rey swallowed, pushing the uncomfortable thoughts from her mind. This was not the time or place for such musings; she needed to focus. She tried to reach out through the Force, attempting to sense what was going though Ben’s mind. What did he want from her —out of all this? But he must have anticipated the she would try to access his mind because as she gently pushed her way into his mind, she found herself unable to. The wall around his mind had never been there before; he had put it up deliberately to keep her out. Rey stiffened; her lack of insight made her uncomfortable.

Ben – Kylo? – seemed unperturbed; if he knew that she tried to peer into his mind, he did not let on.

“You’re alone,” He stated simply, the thin line of his lips barely curving upward. It was a devious smile —almost malicious— and so unlike what she had seen in him the past few weeks, “I’m surprised.”

Rey inhaled, her eyes flicking over to the other surrounding fighters — all of the First Order’s munitions were pointed at her now that the _Falcon_ was safely out of harm’s way. She was undoubtedly surrounded, but she wondered if there was some way that the pilots could hear their conversation on the ground. Could she even try to speak to him plainly with all eyes on the two of them?

It took a moment before it dawned on her that Ben was referring to their uncomfortable situation last night.

“You know I have no control over that,” Rey vaguely responded, her eyes warily flicking once more to the pilots circled above them. “It happens on its own.”

 _I’m sorry, but it’s not like I enjoyed you’re involuntary eavesdropping,_ she thought, wondering if he would sense her final thought as well.

But Ben ignored her reply and her unspoken apology.

“The Resistance has left you,” He continued as he took another step towards her. With each approaching step, Rey could begin to see through the confident façade of the Supreme Leader. His hard eyes betrayed the expression of hurt —of doubt. Despite his assured tone, she could hear the adrenaline in his voice. Perhaps, even, a twinge of nervousness. “I watched as they all scattered like ants the second they saw our ships approaching. But I am surprised that they left you so easily.”

 _I’m surprised that_ he _left you so easily._ The implication was hidden behind his aloof toe, but Rey could still hear the arrogance in the thought, mixed with something else she couldn’t quite place. She bit back a scathing retort that her friends knew she was fully capable of handling herself, but they both knew that it wasn’t entirely true. After all, Ben had been the one providing solace when she had been forced from her leadership position in the Resistance.

She thought of _that_ Ben Solo —the Ben whom she comforted upon the death of his mother, the one who had told her she was capable even when her friends doubted her, the Ben who had been so close to doubting the actions of the First Order just the night before. That same Ben was still there, buried somewhere under this indifferent façade.  

He _had_ to be.

Rey swallowed her fear, determined to bring that Ben back.

Her eyes flickered to the TIE fighters that surrounded them, their weapons still obviously pointed at her. How could she truly explain anything — to say what she really wanted to say— while they were surrounded by hostile onlookers?

“You’re surrounded,” He stated simply, his words echoing her very thoughts. His eyes trailed down to the still ignited saber in her hand, “If you try to fight, or to run, my pilots will have you blown into the sky.”

Ben raised his hand slightly, signaling to the TIE fighters hovering above him. One of them fired, sending a plasma blast just over her head and exploding an already downed Resistance fighter in the process. Rey swallowed at the warning shot, her saberstaff humming quietly in her hand. Was it a real warning for her? Or merely a show for the gaggles of pilots surrounding them?

Ben’s gaze moved from the saber back to Rey and his lips curled upward in a smile. His false confidence returned with the show of force, “Is that really what you want?”

Rey swallowed; what she really wanted was the man in front of her to renounce the First Order entirely. Something — a feeling deep in her bones, perhaps — told her that it was still possible. That the man in front of her still had the ability to turn from the dark. But there was no way that would happen with their current audience.

Rey took a deep breath; everything she was about to do went against her current training and the commands from Poe himself. Even now, she could hear her general’s words echoing through her memories. _Never give up. Never ever put yourself into the enemy’s hands._ But why then was every instinct telling her that this was the right thing to do?

The persistent humming beneath her fingertips stopped as she disengaged her staff. Carefully, she held her weapon up so that he could view it easily — the same weapon forged from the broken fragments of Luke’s lightsaber, the same weapon that her and Ben had fought over that day on the _Supremacy._

And now, she was offering it to him.

“I surrender.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, just a quick note today thanking my amazing beta shattered-quill for once again turning this piece of work into something actually readable! Plus, she is amazing moral support and helps me when I’m suffering a little bit of writers block. Speaking of writer’s block, this chapter was surprisingly hard for me to get right —but I’m surprisingly happy with how it turned out. I hope all of you like it too, and if you do please let me know what you think!

The cold metal of Rey’s shackles chafed her wrists as she walked with her hands bound behind her back. It did not help that the pair of storm troopers tasked with restraining her were not instructed to be gentle as they dragged her away from Ben and his fleet. She could not say that she was surprised by the turn of events; it wasn’t as if the fact that she willingly volunteered her lightsaber to Ben negated the destruction she could do with her hands alone. The fiery scavenger in her wanted nothing more than to point this out to the storm troopers that surrounded and cuffed her, but she bit back the sarcastic remark.

 

Her offering of the lightsaber to Ben was a gesture of goodwill—of faith—and she was not about to risk throwing that away for a witty retort.

 

As she was forcefully led away from Ben and on to the few remaining First Order transports, Rey’s eyes scanned the remainder of the Resistance base. There was a scattering of broken down ships that had been the target of First Order bombs, and she could smell smoke in the air as she was led through the Naxos camp. By some miracle in the Force, it was blessedly devoid of anything other than the sea of white armor patrolling the perimeter—her friends had all escaped. Rey’s shoulders collapsed at the realization, as relief flooded her senses. At least now she would be able to focus on the task at hand.

 

Which was what, exactly?

 

Her thoughts were disrupted as the storm troopers began to search her for any additional weaponry. Rey had to resist the urge to extend her foot and kick the trooper who began to pat down her legs for a hidden blaster.

 

All thoughts of that soon dissipated, however, when the other guard grabbed the pack at her side.

 

Rey inhaled as the two troopers began to rummage through the pack—the archives that she risked her own life to go back for. Her heart sank as she watched them scour through the data files—there was no way for them to know the contents unless they began to look through each file—and then carelessly toss them aside like a piece of scrap metal.

 

“Hey! Those are—” Rey began, but immediately clamped her mouth shut. A rather large part of her wanted to beg the two guards for her pack back. They confirmed there was no weapons in it —what would be the harm of her keeping it at her side? But she didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to the files. It was better if she just paid their actions no mind. Perhaps, when she saw Ben again, she could ask for it back.

 

But what would Ben think?

 

What would he do?

 

While she was manhandled by her assigned guard and forced into the cramped vestibule of the transport, her mind reeled. Her offering of her weapon to Ben had been a move made on impulse alone—a trait General Organa had routinely chided her for. But how could she get him to realize that his allegiance to the First Order was based on a lie—that deep down, he was still a part of the light?

 

The question haunted her as the troopers shackled her to a seat and the transport began its ascent out of Naxos’ atmosphere. Rey watched as the tree line to the jungle became smaller and less visible with each passing moment. Brief memories of her vision in the heart of the jungle danced before her, and she could feel the doubt it caused her rising once more in the pit of her stomach.

 

She swallowed hard as the last of the barely familiar planet disappeared from underneath her and she was plunged further into the unknown.

The first thing Rey noticed when she boarded the _Finalizer_ was the frigid air. The cold space air had never agreed with her temperament, which was infinitely more acclimated to the warm dry air of Jakku. But the rawness now chilled her deep in her core and she surmised it had more to do with the nature of the ship itself rather than mere temperature.

 

The _Finalizer_ was large and monochromatic and _so modern_ —infinitely different from the colorful décor of the many Resistance flagships, often pieced together from the scraps of older, broken down ships. There was the familiar buzz of activity in the landing bay as she was ripped from the transport shuttle and brought on deck. But no one was yelling jokes across the room as they worked to repair broken ship parts. Instead, they all kept quietly to themselves.

 

In fact, no one uttered a word to each other.

 

Rey desperately tried to ignore the eerie impersonal atmosphere of the _Finalizer_ as they led her, shackled, out of the landing bay and into the labyrinth of corridors that made up the star destroyer.

 

The sound of boots hitting the metal grates on the floor broke Rey from her thoughts, and she looked up to see an auburn haired officer storming towards her. Rey swallowed back the anxiety that welled up in the back of her throat and lifted her chin. The man with the self-important gait had to be General Armitage Hux—she had heard all about him, of course, even if her own exploits for the Resistance had kept her out of his crosshairs.

 

The sniveling general paused his step in front of her and turned on his heel so he faced her. He peered down at her through the bridge of his nose.

 

“Well,” the haughty general spoke after only a few beats, “if it isn’t the desert rat.” There was unmistakable repulsion in his voice as he regarded her, mixed with a distinct repressed pleasure at having _finally_ caught the last of the Jedi.

 

She wanted nothing more than to shatter the proud illusion he had of her capture—to boast that this was all a part of a larger plan, that she _surrendered_ —but Rey bit her tongue. She would not give the vile man before her the satisfaction of an argument. No, she would play the prisoner and keep her goal of bringing Ben back with her close to her chest.

 

She still did not like the way that the general was looking at her, as if he looking at a pile of stewing bantha dung, and she could not suppress the desire to bring him down a level.

 

She spit on him.

 

Her action was so uncharacteristic of her, so impulsive, that Rey did not even have time to dwell on it before Hux’s fix collided with her jaw. The force of the impact startled her, sending her down onto her knees. She could hear the fair general let out a vicious snarl before bringing his knee up.

 

Rey cringed, bracing herself for the inevitable impact with her head.

 

Seconds passed, and when the impact did not come, Rey risked opening her eyes. Hux still stood before her, his leg frozen in the air only centimeters from her face. Rey swallowed back the pain in her jaw and focused on the phenomenon in front of her.

 

It was then that Rey felt Ben’s unmistakable presence near her, and she dared to dart her eyes left to watch him approach. As he stomped towards where Rey was on the ground, his outstretched hand continued to clench into a fist. It was Ben who had stopped Hux from attacking her again, if the deadly look etched onto his face was any expression.

 

“I gave instructions that she was not to be harmed,” Ben hissed. “Was that not clear to you?”

 

The hold on Hux was released then, and the general collapsed onto the ground. As he leaned on his palms for support, Rey noticed that he was shaking. From fear or from anger, she could not be sure—she didn’t think she even wanted to know.

 

“ _She killed the Supreme Leader,”_ Hux snarled in reply.

 

Rey blinked at his assertion. Of course she was familiar with the rumors that had circulated furiously after the destruction of the _Supremacy._ Often, on goodwill Resistance missions, potential allies would gawk at the young Jedi who dared to face Snoke and came out alive. She had never bothered to correct them, as the truth might have done much more damage than the lie.

 

She just had not realized the rumors had reached the First Order.

 

Or had they started here?

 

Her eyes glanced over at Ben, who was staring hard at the general on the floor. He neither confirmed nor denied his assertion, simply stating, “I will be the one to deal with her.”

 

It should have been enough, for any underling, after Ben’s outright dismissal. But Hux was not a master of his emotions—did not have Rey or Ben’s training—and made no attempt to mask the fire burning behind his eyes.

 

“I think you misunderstand,” Hux growled. “She is a traitor—no more than scum—who murdered our Supreme Leader. She should be executed. Preferably, publica—”

 

Before Hux could finish the thought, Ben raised his hand and with a dismissive wave, sent the general flying across the room. Rey, along with the two guards at her sides, watched silently as Ben stepped towards the crumpled heap on the floor. He crouched down so that he was level with the red-haired general and forcefully grabbed the back of his neck.

 

Ben began to whisper to the sniveling subordinate, and Rey was grateful for her heightened sense of hearing in that moment.

 

“If you ever presume to question me again, it is _you_ who will have to worry about a public execution,” Ben let go of his victim’s neck, and the general collapsed once more to the floor.

 

Rey’s eyes widened as Ben turned his gait towards her, and she swallowed back all of her reservations. Even when they stood at opposite sides of the battlefield, she had never seen his demeanor so dark and—quite honestly—brutal.

 

Was this really the same Ben that she got to know through their strange bond?

 

She did not have time to dwell on the question, as its subject continued his pointed march towards her.

 

“Come,” he commanded, grabbing her bound arms—considerably more gently than he had just been—and leading her in the opposite direction of the panting general.

 

Rey’s mind was reeling as she was led through a labyrinth of monochromatic hallways and lifts. As much as she tried to commit their hurried pathway to memory, her mind was still struggling to wrap itself around the day’s events. A million questions burned through her, particularly about the scene she just witnessed, but she knew better than to fire them all off at Ben here.

 

“That wasn’t at all what you expected,” he glanced at her sideways, as he continued pulling her in the direction of — well, Rey did not know exactly.

 

Rey swallowed at his comment, carefully eying their surroundings. There were considerably less personnel surrounding them now than before, and a part of her wondered if now would be a good time to get him to start opening up. She opened her mouth to speak—

 

“—but you didn’t try and stop me. Did you even want to?”

 

Her mouth went dry at the implication.

 

“I—I don’t—I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rey sputtered in a feeble attempt at defending herself.

 

Ben stopped walking suddenly, and Rey found herself tripping over her feet at the abrupt change of pace. Ben, still holding her arm from her escort away from Hux, managed to steady her clumsy form as his eyes raked over her. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that—that you didn’t get some kind of satisfaction as he got what was coming to him.”

 

She wanted to say that she was a Jedi and above receiving petty satisfaction at someone else’s suffering. But would this strange plan of hers ever work if she continued to lie to him?

 

“He does seem like a pain in the ass,” Rey admitted.

 

Ben’s lips curled up in—dare she say it?—a smile. Her breath hitched at the foreign expression, and she couldn’t help but think how familiar the lopsided smirk was. Her heart panged as she thought of his father—the smuggler who had first taken her under his wing and had seen _something_ in her when so many before him had failed. How could the young man who looked so much like his father be the one responsible for his death? Rey swallowed the lump in her throat that appeared every time she thought of Han, trying desperately to push her unpleasant thoughts away.

 

Whatever Ben had done in his past, he was not beyond saving.

 

Ben, for his part, seemed to notice the sour tone of her mood. He didn’t, however, sense the root cause of her sudden melancholy, as he looked over her curiously and asked, “What is it?”

 

Rey shook her head, grateful that he hadn’t been able to sense her thoughts over their bond. How could she begin to explain the pang of grief she felt when he finally smiled? If she did, and he realized how much resemblance he bore to his father—well, Ben may never smile again.

 

Inexplicably, there was another pang in her chest.

 

By some wondrous working of the Force, Ben didn’t press the issue. Perhaps, deep down, he knew what she was feeling and did not want to discuss it as much as she did. Or, perhaps, it was that the distinct thud of boots broke the reverie of their private conversation. With the odd spell lifted, Ben grabbed her arm again and gently guided her once more through the series of halls.

 

Rey allowed her thoughts to wander away from her grief over Han and to the situation at hand.

 

A few moments later, Ben paused—this time guiding Rey so she did not clumsily stumble forward—in front of a large black door. His grip on her relaxed, and Rey watched as he slowly pulled the black glove off of his right hand. Carefully, he placed his bare palm on a biometric scanner that Rey had not even realized was there. The machine hummed underneath him and moments later the door before the two of them slid open in a single motion.

 

His hand was once again on her arm—the small hairs stood upright as she felt the warmth of his skin on hers—as he lead her through the threshold.

 

Rey did not know what to expect as she stepped through the door. She had imagined a throne room, not altogether dissimilar from the one where she had last seen Ben. She could have also easily pictured some torture chamber—designed to help Ben extract information about the Resistance from her.

 

But what she hadn’t expected to see behind the door was a bedroom. No—the term ‘bedroom’ wasn’t enough to describe what Ben had brought her too. The series of spacious rooms in this apartment were richly decorated—so incredibly different from her own rooms within the Resistance.

 

A large burgundy loveseat coupled with a charcoal reading table in the main room. On it was strewn a luxurious blanket, made of some fur that Rey couldn’t name. On either side of the loveseat were large bookcases filled with paper books—Rey could only imagine the expense—and various decorative trinkets. There was also a holo conveniently placed on the edge of the shelf. Just behind it was a dining area, with a table already set for an extravagant meal and a vase of deep blue starflowers placed directly in the center.

 

Her eyes darted around once more, and behind a graphite privacy panel she could just barely see the ends of what appeared to be a rather large bed. Just passed the bed was an entryway to what Rey could only assume was the fresher.

 

Her mouth hung open as she surveyed the rooms around her. Her mind only registered that Ben had used the Force to shut the door behind them as she heard the faint click of the closing mechanisms. Before she could spin around and ask just what he was doing, he was moving closer to her.

 

Suddenly, her awe at the luxurious bedrooms dissolved into a quiet panic. Her eyes widened as he approached her as she managed to choke, “What are you doing?”

 

“There it is again,” Ben replied quietly as he maneuvered himself so that he was behind her. “That fear.”

 

“I’m not scared of you,” Rey answered, a little quickly. Her back straightened as she could feel his bare hands once again graze her arms. With a quick movement of his hands—Rey couldn’t see just what he was doing—the shackles on her hand released. Immediately, Rey began to rub the spot where the cuffs had chafed her wrists.

 

Finally unrestrained, Rey turned to look at Ben.

 

“What is this place?” She asked as her eyebrows raised. “Did you really bring me to your room?”

 

There it is again, Rey thought as an amused smirk once again crawled on to Ben’s face. With a small shake of his head, Ben snorted, “Of course not. My own apartments are not so _quaint._ These are yours.”

 

“You had rooms prepared for me?” Rey surmised. “You were that confident that I would join you?”

 

“You forget, Rey, that I saw that you would eventually be the one to join me,” Ben said before visibly bristling. “Whoever you have waiting for you back at the Resistance can rest easy: you have your own rooms.”

 

The words—their implication—hit Rey like a bowcaster to the chest. Her posture, which she had not noticed was relaxed, immediately stiffened in defiance. How dare he? Rey fumed—it was absolutely not his place to say anything. Her teeth were grinding as she hissed, “You have no idea what you are talking about.”

 

“Don’t I?” he mused. “Tell me—did you finally take up with the Wookiee? Or was it that traitor FN-2187?”

 

Rey saw red.

 

Perhaps it was her damned impulsivity, or perhaps she was still too riled up because of her previous encounter with Hux, but Rey raised her hand to strike him. It was unlike her—and entirely against the plan she had haphazardly put together to peacefully bring Ben back to the light. She didn’t care in that moment; all she could think was the unwarranted insult to both her and her friends.  But the momentum of her slap hitched mid-strike, and her hand was frozen in the air.

 

Rey’s eyes widened at her frozen limb, and she struggled to move it against the strength of his Force-hold on her. She wanted to rage, to curse at him and strike him and sling insults that would hurt him in every way possible. To drag him down just as he had done to her. But as she stared at her enemy—was he even really that anymore?—the cheerless expression etched onto his features spoke volumes—he was just as pained as she was.

 

Her eyes softened with the realization, and the invisible grip on her arm relaxed. She lowered her hand—the burning rage inside her was dissolving with each passing minute. What could she say to quell his own anger—or was it indignation—towards her? Why did it even matter to her that much? Rey swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

 

It was because she wanted to bring him back to the light, she told herself. And nothing more.

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rey’s mouth was bone dry as she tried to explain. “With Poe it is—was—it was—”

 

“Poe Dameron?” Ben scoffed, the pained expression on his face turning undeniably sour. His lips pursed into a thin line as he continued, “My mother’s most trusted pilot— _the son she always wanted_. Why am I not surprised?”

 

Rey could feel the resentment radiating off of Ben, but she couldn’t quite place the source of it. Her mind was reeling. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of all the meddlesome thoughts that plagued her.

 

Before she could explain herself and try to redirect the conversation back to something that actually mattered, Ben began again. “It is strange—I never took you for the fly boy type.”

 

Ben’s voice dripped with disdain—and something else Rey couldn’t quite place. She opened her mouth to retort, but Ben was not finished with his verbal assault. “I honestly thought that you were better than that.”

 

Rey blinked rapidly as the realization of his insults dawned on her. How dare he say something like this to her? Anger and indignation welled up inside of her like a monstrous wave as she sputtered, “How—how dare you presume to know me?”

 

Her ferocity shocked the man in front of her and he took a step back. She could easily sense that he hadn’t expected her to snap back at him. In his anger, in the passion that he let consume him all too easily, he did not have the foresight to predict her reaction. But his eyes, having widened at her outburst, only narrowed as he regained his composure. “Have you so easily forgotten our bond? That I can read you so easily?”

 

His words were filled with both disappointment and anger.

 

Rey sighed; this was definitely not how she envisioned her surrender when she offered him her saberstaff only hours earlier. From the moment she began speaking to Poe while the bond had connected her and Ben, she knew that she would have to explain. She didn’t know why—it was not as if she owed him any sort of explanation. But through their bond she could sense his inexplicable confusion and hurt and knew that the next time she would have to offer him some kind of explanation. She just hadn’t expected to have to defend herself in _this_ way so soon.

 

Before she understood what was happening—before she could even stop herself—the wave of frustration finally crashed over her. “Do you think that I wanted this to happen? I didn’t expect it. I didn’t ask for it—and I certainly did not do it just to make you angry. Besides, it’s not like I—”

“It’s not like you were serious about him.” Ben finished the sentence for her.

 

His words—his assumption about her—hit her like a punch in the gut. She opened her mouth to sputter out some kind of protest, to explain that she was nothing like he imagined her to be, to prove that his words were false. But not a sound came out.

 

It was as if she could not speak—could not form a coherent string of sentences to tell him _just how wrong he was._ Her mouth slapped shut as it dawned on her just why she could not protest Ben’s accusation: he was absolutely right. Rey swallowed all of the unuttered words, everything that she wanted to say and ignored Ben as another damned smirk crawled onto his features.

 

“It is no matter,” he mused, the smile on his face giving away just how much he was enjoying her speechlessness. “You’ve surrendered yourself to the First Order. The Resistance—and all of its members—is behind you now.”

 

Rey chose to ignore the pointed inflection of his tone.

 

“I will leave you to get settled,” his voice was quiet, but dripped with the taunting satisfaction of victory. “I will meet you here for dinner in a few hours.”

 

With a swift pivot of his heel, Ben turned from her. With a wave of his hand, the heavy doors opened before him. Rey watched him as he walked calmly, victoriously, through the doors and out of the rooms— _her rooms._ As the doors unceremoniously shut behind him, Rey exhaled.

 

She wasn’t sure just what she expected when she concocted this half-baked plan.

 

But it certainly was not this.

* * *

 

Minutes—or hours, Rey couldn’t quite be sure without a chrono to measure the time—passed since Ben had left her to deal with the fall out of their heated conversation. Staring up at the ceiling from the surprisingly soft bed in the corner room, there was nothing to stop the intrusive thoughts from plaguing her mind. Within the confines of her luxurious prison cell—she would call it what it was—she had nothing to do but replay the conversation that she had with Ben over and over in her head. When she offered him her saberstaff— _herself_ —she hadn’t expected him to be quite so angry with her.

 

Even minutes before their conversation turned sour, the two of them were sharing an awkward laugh at the expense of the foul General Hux. How had the conversation turned sour so quickly? Rey swallowed. Was this going to be her life from now own? Would she never know how the mood would shift from hot to cold each day? She shuddered at the thought. Or perhaps—she clung to the thought like a last spring of hope in the darkness of her thoughts—it was only mention of Poe that seemed to irk Ben so.

 

_Poe._

 

A wave of guilt crashed over her as she recalled how callous she had been in her conversation with Ben.

 

She hadn’t bid him good look or told him to be safe as he led the fight against the First Order on Naxos. She hadn’t wished him a safe return. Had he made it back safely? He _had t_ o have. After all, he was the gallant and daring Poe Dameron. He had been in much worse situations before, and made it out without barely a scratch.

 

He would be fine.

 

And if something had happened to him, surely she would have felt some kind of sign through the Force—would she not?

 

It was the lack of any gut-wrenching sense that comforted her, that told her all of her friends in the Resistance had made it out safe and sound. That Poe, Finn, Rose and all of the rest were alright—or at the very least unharmed. Perhaps they were regrouping now on some long forgotten Rebel base, already planning their next move.

 

What did they think of her sudden disappearance? Did they witness her obvious surrender and look on in horror as she offered herself up to their biggest enemy?

 

Or, perhaps, they thought she was captured in one last gesture of self-sacrifice to save Chewbacca and the rest of the refugees. Perhaps, as he had done so selflessly before, Finn was orchestrating her rescue as he had done when she was held captive on Starkiller Base.

 

Her stomach wretched violently in a knot at the thought of her friends risking their lives for her once more.

 

“Please don’t do anything rash,” she pleaded to no one in particular, her soft voice carrying across the empty room. She could only hope, as her heavy eyelids began to fall with exhaustion, that her friends would abide by her prayer halfway across the galaxy.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys! Thank you for all of your kind words! The end of the year for me has been crazy, but as we approach the end of testing I’ll be able to update even more. As always, I appreciate the kind feedback, and letting me know what you guys are looking forward to. I have to say, I was going to skip over the dinner scene entirely in a few of the versions of this chapter that I had written—I’m glad that I did.
> 
> As always, a huge thank you to my amazing beta shattered-quill!

 

It was to the sounds of the faintest gentle tinkling from across the spacious apartment that Rey’s eyes fluttered open. It was dark—the environmental control system had the ship’s lighting dimmed to its evening settings. It cast an ethereal glow about the room, one that Rey would have found warm and welcoming in any other moment. But her eyes soon adjusted and were flooded with sights that were wholly foreign to her—this was not her bedroom on Naxos, this was most definitely not a Resistance vessel.

A wave of unbridled panic washed over her as her eyes took in the unfamiliar surroundings of a sumptuous strange room, one that did not belong to the Resistance. _Where was she?_ Her hand immediately flew to her hip—an automatic reflex to reach for her beloved saberstaff—and she swallowed hard when she realized that there was nothing there. Her eyes began to dart frantically around the room—surely there had to be a way out— before memories of her current situation came flooding back to her.

She was on the _Finalizer_ —a willing hostage of the First Order, and she had voluntarily given herself up to protect the Resistance. She had been the given luxurious rooms of a guest, instead of being thrown in a —

The gentle chimes in the other room grew louder, breaking Rey from her thoughts.

She wasn’t alone.

Her heart, which hadn’t fully calmed down from the panicked wake up call it had just received, hammered hard in her chest—she had no weapon with which to defend herself from a possible attack; both her saberstaff and blaster had been confiscated from her prior to her arrival, along with the archives she was attempting to smuggle out in the midst of the escape.

Gently, so as not to alert the intruder to her presence, Rey swung her feet off the side of the capacious bed. The soft leather of her worn out boots did not make a sound on the ship’s cold floor as she quietly tip-toed behind the privacy screen that separated the bed and washing area from the rest of the room. Perhaps it was because she was so cognizant of every sound she was making, or perhaps because of her paranoia, but Rey could have sworn that every step she took was thunderous in the quiet of the apartment. _Please,_ she found herself inexplicably pleading with the Force, _please do not let whoever is out there have heard me._

She would meet the intruder head on to escape, if she needed, but she wanted a few moments to gather her thoughts. After all, she was alone and in enemy territory.

Rey held her breath for a few beats, as she strained to pick up any indication that the intruder had heard her. All she could hear, however, was the pounding of her own heart as adrenaline coursed through her. After a few moments, when she was certain that the only noise in the room was the faint chimes that had woken her, Rey let out a small, quiet exhale.

Peering out from behind the divider, Rey’s mouth dropped as she saw Ben Solo standing before the dining table to the left of the room. His back was turned to her as he continually adjusted the silverware on the table—although, she could have sworn it had already been set to perfection when he had first brought her here. She blinked a few times as she watched him fuss with the chrome goblets on the table. Why would he be the one to do that?

It felt wrong for her to spy on him, but Rey allowed herself a few more moments to watch as Ben continued to adjust the place settings. As he was consumed with the different silverware and plates, Ben didn’t even notice her presence through the Force. It was somewhat odd—the well-studied former Jedi letting his guard down so easily—but Rey took advantage of that fact and continued to silently watch him for a few more moments.

She reached out gently through the Force, hoping to gauge what kind of mood her nemesis would be in. Their heated exchange only hours before was not far from her thoughts. But as she grasped at the wisps of his Force signature, all she could feel was the prickling sense of nervous excitement radiating from him.

 _What_ _—_ _?_ Rey’s own stomach fluttered at the new information, and her cheeks grew warm as intrusive thoughts of just what that could mean weaseled their way into her mind. _No,_ Rey scolded herself as she pushed the annoying thoughts away, _don’t be daft._ Refusing to give them any more credence, she turned her attention to what he was doing just a few meters in front of her.

He was dressed much more casually now, having shed the battle regalia from earlier in favor of a well-fitting, high collared tunic. The informality of his clothing, coupled with the incessant readjustment of the silverware, was enough to make Rey’s lips curl upward in a smile. His dark hair fell gently over his calm face, shedding the last vestiges of formality in his appearance.

He continued to play with the place settings, moving the aluminum goblet from the left side of the table to the right.

“Never send a damn human to do a protocol droid’s job,” Ben mumbled begrudgingly, his low voice carrying his complaint from across the quiet room.

His frustration over the most trivial of matters was enough to make Rey’s pursed lips curl up into a lithe smile.

Emerging from behind the confines of the privacy screen, Rey piped up, “Are the cloth napkins not up to the First Order’s standards?”

Her tone was lighthearted, and the comment was made in jest, but there was still the awkward tension that hung idly in the air as it left her lips. She recalled their strained exchange from only hours before, the heated words that passed between them and how the conversation turned so quickly from one moment to the next. Would it be the same now? Even though she hadn’t sensed any animosity coming from him, she could never be sure with the man standing in front of her.

Another awkward beat passed before she had her answer.

“Perhaps not,” Ben replied, his shoulders curling upward under the pretense of an indifferent shrug—as if he had not spent the last few minutes adjusting and re-adjusting the place settings. “But it’s not as if a former scavenger would know the difference.”

Rey knew she should probably have taken offense to that—or at least feigned it to preserve whatever was left of her dignity after this afternoon—but the lighthearted tone of the man across the room told her that this was his attempt at a joke. It was a poor one, no doubt, but Rey found that she no longer had the energy to take offense, and nor did she want to.

The constant tension was exhausting, and, given her current predicament, they would both be much better off without it.

It didn’t help that in that very moment, his lips curved upward into the faintest of smiles. It wasn’t much—very similar to the awkward smirk he had given her earlier in the day—but it was enough for any anger and rage to dissolve instantly. No, she definitely did not want to ruin _that_ with another tense moment.

Rey opened her mouth to fire off another witty retort but a loud rumble from her stomach spoke for her.

Ben raised his brows at the thunderous noise erupting from her abdomen, and Rey desperately tried to hide the blush that arose in her cheeks. Would there be another sarcastic comment from him? Her eyes danced about the room—from the elegantly set table in front of them to the sparsely decorated living area—deliberately focusing on _anything_ but Ben. But the damage was already done—Ben heard her stomach growl and motioned for her to sit across from him without another word. She obliged, the emptiness of her stomach winning out over any questions regarding the propriety of the situation at hand.

She was thankful that he had the tact to not say anything, at least.

Rey’s eyes widened as she took her seat and noticed the intricate details of the dinner presentation before her. Directly in front of her was a steaming bowl of a green broth that Rey had never encountered before, but the aroma wafting through the air was enough to make her mouth water in anticipation. But it was not the delectable soup that caught Rey’s eyes, rather, on each side of the steaming bowl were a series of utensils—both large and small—neatly laid out in size order over a finely laid white linen that had the faintest of gold lily’s embroidered along its edges.

Now she knew why he was fussing so much.

Ben, sitting directly across from her, seemed to notice her shock at the ornate display of silverware before her. His lips curled slightly as he mused, “I’m sure that you’re not used to such a formal setting.”

His voice was calm and matter of fact; he wasn’t teasing her anymore. Her shoulders collapsed as she finally felt able to relax—she hadn’t realized how tense she’d been.

“I don’t see how anyone could be,” Rey breathed helplessly as she looked at the complicated display before her. She couldn’t imagine why someone would need all of it. There were two separate goblets in front of her—one for water and the other for wine. At least that made sense. But why would someone need three separate spoons for one meal?

Ben shrugged as he picked up one of the utensils on his left and began to mindlessly swirl the steaming soup in front of him, “It was something that I had been raised on. Forced to take etiquette lessons from such a young age, preparing for state dinners at Leia Organa’s side when I much would have rather been with H—”

Ben paused, staring at his soup as he continued to turn it over in his bowl. Steam erupted from the top of his bowl, dancing around his features as he struggled to find the words to finish his thought. His mouth abruptly snapped shut and as his dark brows knit together, Rey knew  that he would not continue. He didn’t have to—Rey knew immediately who he was referring to.

She couldn’t help the expression of surprise that erupted on her face as Ben offered up the smallest of hints at his childhood. Her mind wandered back to earlier in the day, and the harsh words that passed between them. It seemed now, despite the awkwardness that hung in the air, that the previous exchange was all but forgotten and that Ben was making an attempt at civility.

In that same spirit of graciousness, Rey bit back the burning desire she had to tell him that she could so easily see that he still had good left in him—if he only tried to find it within himself. There would be time enough for that, she told herself. After all, she didn’t know how long she would be here with him. Instead, she picked up one of the shining spoons on her left with every intention of digging in to the aromatic broth in front of her.

Just as she was about to dip her spoon and begin ravaging the bowl in front of her, she noted the hint of an amused expression on Ben’s face and paused. He was eyeing her carefully, and biting back that damned smile once more. His large brown eyes darted to the spoon in her hand and shook his head _ever so slightly._

Rey sighed, putting the tiny spoon down. Reaching a gloved hand across the intimate table setting, he handed her the next spoon over. It was only slightly larger than the one in her hand, but Rey begrudgingly accepted the utensil. She resented her lack of social etiquette and class being pointed out to her. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment; this never happened with the Resistance. Plopping the spoon into her soup, she swallowed a mouthful before mumbling, “I don’t see what the big deal is—a spoon is a spoon.”

“This one is for soup,” he nodded in the direction of the spoon in her hand, “the one you held before is specifically reserved for the dessert course.”

“Dessert?” Rey’s eyes lifted at Ben’s words and she made no attempt to hide her hopeful tone. Ben only smiled at her response, and Rey felt any leftover resentment dissolve away in that moment.

The two enemies—were they even that now?— fell into another comfortable silence as they continued with their meal. Rey watched Ben has he effortlessly navigated the intricately set table. She followed suit when she could, overwhelmed by the needless display in front of her. Despite her hunger, she was relieved when the meal was finally over.

“I must ask, Rey,” his voice hushed as he said her name, and it sent shivers running up her spine. Rey shifted in her seat as she waited for him to continue, “Why did you give yourself up so easily?”

Rey did her best to ignore the faint hint of hope in his question.

Instead, she gave her best nonchalant shrug as she reached for the previously untouched goblet of wine in front of her. It tasted stronger than anything had before, and she struggled to swallow the dry wine, “You had me surrounded.”

Somewhere, out of the corner of her eye, Rey saw a flicker of movement. As Rey had been lost in their conversation, a cleaning droid had entered her apartments and began to clear the mess of plates and silverware in front of them. Ben, for his part, paid the machine no mind.

“But you didn’t even put up a fight,” he noted, ignoring the droid as it continued its work cleaning around them. “Five years ago, you never would have­ . . . ”

_What changed?_

The unspoken question hung in the air between the two of them.

A lump had formed in her throat, and she tried to swallow it down with another sip of wine. “It wasn’t—if I had tried to make a break for it, whatever ship that had come back for me would have taken a massive hit. They all would have died.”

Somehow, even Rey was uncertain of her explanation.

She could feel a sense of smug satisfaction radiating through their bond; Ben didn’t buy her vague explanation for a minute. His lips curled upward in a knowing smirk, and it only continued to grow as her cheeks grew hotter. She shifted uneasily under his gaze, needing to do _something_ to break the obvious tension.

In a moment of pure impulse and frustration, Rey took the crumpled up napkin from her lap and haphazardly threw it in his direction. About a half of a second after she realized just what she had done—that sort of playfulness was usually reserved for Finn and Poe—her eyes widened.

Ben—whether due to the nature of their bond or Rey’s own lack of stealth—anticipated the movement. When the soiled cloth was mere centimeters from his face, he waved his hand and it paused mid-air. A hard line formed in the place of his smug smile, and Rey swallowed. She tried to reach out, through their bond, to gauge what he was thinking but she found nothing. He was blocking her.

For an eternity—or mere seconds, Rey really was not quite sure—the crumpled napkin and tension hung in the air between them.

Rey opened her mouth, mentally preparing herself to apologize for her childishness. But before she could even get a word out, the napkin began to move once more—this time, however, flying across the table in the opposite direction. She hadn’t even fully registered what was happening before the dirty cloth his her in face.

As it fell back on to her lap, Rey only blinked. Ben, on the other hand, let out a loud, uncharacteristic guffaw. Rey watched as he continued to laugh at the situation, playfulness dancing across his features. Through their bond, she could sense a levity surrounding him that had not been there in ages. Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, was in the room with her that night.

Her cheeks grew flush once more, although this time she knew it was not from embarrassment.

* * *

 

A long, low tone woke broke Rey from blessed rest, and she groaned as the environmental lights brightened to mimic the morning sun. They were shining far too harshly for her delicate eyes, and she shut them just as quickly as she had opened them. Turning over in her bed and pulling the lush covers over her eyes, she tried to ignore the intrusive illumination and aggravating alarm as best as she could.

She did not last very long, however.

“If I am really a prisoner,” Rey mumbled into her barbary bird feather pillow as the annoying tone continued to reverberate throughout the room, “then why not let me waste away in bed?”

But, as she had learned over the course of the last few days, the incessant alarm in her rooms would not silence until Rey made a movement to signal that she was finally awake.

“I’m up, I’m up,” Rey groaned to no one in particular as she turned over to stare up at the bare ceiling. She sat up in the lush bed, resting her chin on her knees as she considered the events of last few days, the alarm finally quieting down.

Three long days had passed since Rey initially surrendered herself to the First Order, and time seemed to move slower and slower with each passing minute that she was confined in her luxurious cell. As she had learned her first full day aboard the _Finalizer_ , she was not granted permission to leave the small apartments. What once had now seemed luxurious and refined now felt like a prison cell.

The days blended together in a sea of monotonous routines—callous wake up calls by unfeeling technology, perusing the outdated novels on a heavily restricted holo in the morning, followed by meditation for the majority of the afternoon—that were only broken up by her evening meals with Ben.

Rey was loathe to admit it, but she looked forward to the nightly intrusion on her confinement. By mid-afternoon on her first full day alone, she had taken up the habit of mumbling to herself—if only to break the eerie silence that plagued her as she spent the days alone. It was a practice she had not needed since her long days alone on Jakku. The ease in which she had fallen back into the habit worried her, and the hours spent in isolate provided little comfort to her.

It was only another few hours before gnawing paranoia set in.

“Was I just imagining some semblance of kindness last night?” Rey had wondered aloud on that first day.

When Ben appeared at her door, flanked by droids carrying trays of some of the most exotic and decadent foods she had ever seen, there was nothing Rey could do to hide the relief as it spread across her face. Their dinner that night had gone much the same as the first—an awkward lightness hung over them as they attempted to make conversation, sprinkled with unguarded moments of levity that made Rey forget the nature of her confinement.

It was tense—both of them walking on eggshells in order to not offend the other—but it was a welcome break from the hours she spent in solitude.

By the second day, Rey had almost completely forgotten the harsh exchange of words that occurred her first night aboard the _Finalizer._

And now, by the third day, Rey had fallen in to a steady routine.

After the blasted alarm finally silenced and she was certain there was no hope of her falling back to sleep, Rey swung her legs over the bed and padded into the washroom. Turning on the fresher, she let the hot water run over for the second time in as many days. As much as she complained about her confinement—

“Now, this is a luxury,” she murmured to no one in particular as she ran a fragrant rose shampoo through her hair. Even after her promotion to an officer, life in the Resistance was rugged to say the least. She hated to admit it, but this was an amenity that she could easily get used to.

Stepping out of the fresher, she quickly dressed to avoid the chill of the frigid space air. As she hurriedly slipped into the fitted grey tunic and leggings that had been stocked in her drawers, she saw a GG-class droid setting up her breakfast. She hurried over after running her fingers through her wet locks in a feeble attempt to detangle them, eager for the morning meal. But as she took her place at the lone seat at the table, she noticed that there was a feast before her.

“Excuse me,” Rey’s brow furrowed as she looked at the heaping plates before her, “there must be a mistake–there has to be enough food for two people here.”

Her voice sounded much more hopeful than she intended it to.

“There is no mistake,” the droid replied as it set a piping hot canister of caf in front of her. “Your meals are prepared based on your estimated caloric needs for the day.”

“Estimated caloric needs?” Rey blinked, as she shoveled a forkful of Quor’sav egg into her mouth—all of the manners she learned the previous evenings were completely forgotten. “What do they expect me to do today—wrestle a Hutt?”

The droid lifted its mechanical shoulders to mimic a human shrug, as if to say _don’t ask me, I only deliver the food,_ and immediately resumed its task _._ It didn’t offer any additional information, and Rey was somewhat taken aback by the machine’s non-answer, as she had only ever been accustomed to droids who were overly helpful. She could only imagine the short-circuit this machine’s lack of manners would cause C3-PO.

The thought caused a sad smile to creep across her lips, as she looked at the steaming cup of caf in front of her. A pang of loneliness hit her square in the chest as she found herself wondering just what her friends in the Resistance were doing right now—were they drinking the same old synthetic caf as they poured over their reconstituted porridge in the mess? What were they discussing as they all huddled together?

Were they still in the midst of a large scale retreat?

Did they wonder about her?

Rey put her fork down, the thought of eating the fine delicacies in front of her as her friends went without was enough to cause her appetite to all but disappear. She stared at the fine food before her, and a wave of shame washed over her.

“Eat,” the droid’s mechanical voice echoed from across the room as it barked its order.  The machine’s sensory mechanism seemed to lock on to her.

Rey frowned, picking the fork back up. She pushed around the eggs on her plate, but couldn’t bring herself to eat them. The aroma of it all was tempting, enticing her to have just another bite. But she resisted, guilt gnawing at her.

Rey wasn’t sure it was possible, but the droid’s eyes seemed to narrow at her as it repeated its initial command, “Eat.”

She considered the command, giving in to both the machine and the tempting aroma of the food, but Rey’s stubborn streak won out—she only continued to push the food around on her plate.

“If you don’t eat,” the droid countered, and if Rey had not known any better she would have thought that there was an air of haughtiness in its voice, “then not only will you be punished for your insolence, but I will also be reprogrammed for sanitation.”

“Punished?” Rey blinked, completely unconcerned for the droid’s potential reprogramming.

“You don’t want to be stuck inside this room forever.” 

Did the GG droid actually just _sass_ her? Rey balked as she considered the machine’s reasoning. Despite the droid’s vague hints, she hadn’t considered that she would be allowed out of the confines of her luxurious prison cell. Days of loneliness weighed on her just as much as the wave of guilt. The hope of an escape from the dull routine was enough for her appetite to resurge with full force, and she began to shovel food inside of her mouth, her manners long forgotten.

Rey spent the next two hours—after having fully digested the largest meal she had _ever_ eaten— restlessly waiting in her room for the excitement that the GG serving droid had promised her. It hung over her head, teasing her like a child waiting for some special treat. She needed a distraction and spent her time attempting in vain to meditate, but the sense of restlessness and boredom hanging over her head gnawed at her.

She sat on the cold hard floor of her apartments, attempting to calm herself and break free of any further distraction. She crossed her legs, ignoring the chill from the unfeeling metal surface as it came into contact with her skin. Instead, she put her hands flat on each thigh and inhaled deeply. _I am taking in serenity, peace, the Force._ She closed her eyes and once again imagined all of the restlessness and anxiety flooding out of her as she ex—

The approach of a familiar presence outside of her apartment door broke Rey from her feeble attempt at meditation. Her eyes shot open in anticipation of the impending intrusion, and she immediately rose from her seated position. Instinctively, her hand flew to the top of her head to smooth down any stray locks. But as the realization of just what she was doing dawned on her, she dropped her hand in shame.

She was not about to act like a foolish child for Ben Solo—not after everything that had come to pass between them.

The doors to her apartment opened without any ceremony or ringing—Ben was not one to wait for her to answer the door; he always let himself in without so much as a warning. She didn’t truly need one anyway, Rey thought, as the familiar wisps of his presence curled around her like a warm hu—

Rey pushed away the thought before it fully formed in her mind.

“Today you are going to be joining me in the training grounds,” Ben, without any greeting or pleasantries, interrupted her thoughts.

“T-training?” Rey sputtered incredulously. She could picture the scenario in her mind rather easily—a mix of sweat, heavy breathing, and facst paced sparring as the two of them clashed repeatedly. A small rush of excitement welled inside of her gut as she pictured it, but in every imagined outcome, the pair would only end up at each other’s throats—both literally and figuratively. The mere thought of it was enough to make her laugh like the foolish child she told herself that she would not be.

If Rey was going to be honest with herself, the idea of sparring with him did intrigue her.

His only response to her incoherent snorting was to look at her sharply, and Rey could feel her cheeks grow hot under his scrutiny. She found herself wondering just what was going through his mind as he looked at her so stoically. Despite their bond, he was becoming increasingly difficult to read. Did he regret making the offer? Did he regard her as less serious, perhaps wondering if it was better to keep her confined to the apartments? Her embarrassment soon subsided, however, only to be replaced by a crushing desire to prove herself. To wipe the skeptical expression off of his face.

Rey straightened her back, staring Ben down with her most determined glare.

Ben only raised his eyebrows, but seemingly accepted her newfound determination as he continued. “It would be a shame for you to continue here without some kind of routine, and to not use and improve your skills.”

Rey nodded, already so thankful for the opportunity to go beyond the four walls that had confined her for the past few days.

“And perhaps,” Ben continued, his voice becoming much more assured and sounding every bit like the Supreme Leader he claimed to be, “you will learn something that your rebel friends—and Luke Skywalker—could not teach you.”

Rey bristled at the mention of Luke Skywalker, the Jedi who reluctantly trained her for only a few short days. It was true that most of her skills were entirely self-taught, but the implication that his dark side training was superior to her own did not sit well with her. A small part of her wanted to lash out, to defame his training under Snoke, but she bit back her anger—it would do her no good right now.

Instead, she squared her delicate shoulders and stood even taller. “You can train me all you want, but I will never join you.”

Ben’s lips pursed into a thin line and his eyes rose to meet her own challenge.

No words passed between them as they stared hard at one another, both refusing to back down. Had she rendered him speechless? After a few beats of silence, Rey wondered if she had actually won the small argument between them. But as soon as she had begun to inwardly celebrate her victory against Ben’s attempt to throw her off, she could hear his deep baritone echo throughout her mind.

_We shall see._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Phew – and the first chapter is done! Please take a second to let me know what you think of all this! And I promise the Reylo is coming.


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